S'pore woman goes on Carousell to sell off gifts she bought for cheating ex-boyfriend & write about him

She said that the posts about ex-boyfriend weren't about shaming him, but were a form of "cathartic relief".

Jane Zhang| February 20, 2021, 10:43 AM

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[UPDATED on Saturday, Feb. 21 at 11:15am: "Stella" has informed Mothership that a number of netizens have brought it to her attention that there is a staff member at a local country club by the same name of her ex-boyfriend, who has been on the receiving end of online harassment from people online.

This country club staff is not the ex-boyfriend mentioned in the story, and the similarity in name is a coincidence, Stella said.

She called for netizens to leave the staff member alone, and apologised for the grief that he has endured.]

What would you do if you found out that your significant other of the past one-and-a-half years had been cheating on you with multiple other people, one of whom is your friend who is married and has a child?

For one 37-year-old woman in Singapore, her answer to this question was to break up with him, and then take to Carousell to sell two personalised phone cases that she had bought for him before the breakup, and write a short exposé of his ways in the items' descriptions.

Knew he was a player

On Wednesday (Feb. 17), "Stella" (not her real name) listed two iPhone 11 Pro cases for sale on her Carousell account, aforestnymph.

One case was personalised with the name that Stella's ex-boyfriend goes by, she told Mothership, while the other says "Sayangku", which means "my dear" in Malay and Bahasa Indonesia.

According to the Carousell descriptions of both cases, Stella had bought them online for her boyfriend for his birthday, which is coming up on Feb. 21.

However, Stella decided to sell them after she "decided [she] finally had enough after almost 2 years of upheaval dramas and multiple women".

She said that she had actually known her boyfriend was a "player" because they knew each other for a long time prior to dating, as he was her personal trainer.

In fact, she told Mothership, he had told her before that he had once been seeing up to five girls at once.

However, she claimed, he had declared to her: "I’m already 41 years old. Been there, done that. Played enough. It’s about time to be serious."

And Stella believed him because she believed in second chances, she said.

Discovered he was having an ongoing affair with her friend

After seven months of "bliss", which Stella called a "facade", Stella discovered in February 2020 that her boyfriend had an ongoing six-year affair with one of her friends.

What was more was that the alleged friend is married to a doctor (an Ear, Nose, Throat specialist, specifically), has a child, is church-going, and is a member of a country club.

The relationship was discovered, Stella said, when she posted an Instagram story of her and her boyfriend, and her friend frantically texted her asking if the two of them were in a relationship.

Stella told Mothership that she chose to stay with him because she genuinely loved him.

However, she claimed, her boyfriend did not even apologise for his behaviour, instead telling Stella to "suck it up and accept the arrangement".

He allegedly asked Stella to give him some time to break up with her friend, and also kept saying that he was trying to find a good time to do so, but never did.

Another girlfriend

Then, in October 2020, Stella said, she found out that her boyfriend had yet another girlfriend, who he had apparently been seeing since March 2020.

Stella told Mothership that she is sure that along the way, there must have been other girls as well, but that she didn't investigate:

"I didn’t actively doubt him cause what’s the point? If I have to, there’s no need to be in this relationship. So I took a leap of faith."

In her Carousell listing, she said that his "skills" were very good, such as video calling her at a car park crying about how bad he felt, how much he missed her, and how much he loved her.

She wrote that she later found out that this call happened on the same day as he met another woman.

Decided that enough was enough

Stella said that she ordered the phone cases two weeks ago, but one week ago, she finally decided enough was enough and broke things off with her boyfriend.

It was too emotionally draining, she said.

She added that his attention toward her had waned.

Previously, he apparently would call her five times a day or between his personal training sessions with clients to tell her that he loved her, and suddenly he would not even text her for a whole day.

Stella said that he also was lying more about his whereabouts, and gaslighting her when she questioned him.

Speaking to Mothership, Stella said:

"He obviously doesn’t change and will never change. And he doesn’t have the right to toy with people like this."

Looking back, she admitted that there were "telltale signs", such as never meeting his family or friends and not knowing where he lives, despite being in the relationship for more than a year.

"But he’s so damned smooth and he’s so good in making [you] feel so loved that your judgment will get clouded," Stella said.

Intention of the Carousell listings wasn't to shame him

In terms of the success of her Carousell listings, Stella said that she has received some offers to buy the Sayangku case, as well as the packaging of the personalised name case, but not the case itself.

"Mostly I get a lot of condolences and encouragement and a few telling me that it’s the funniest listing they have chanced upon in a while," she told Mothership.

Stella added that she doesn't have the intention of shaming him with the listings.

Rather, she just wanted to get rid of the cases because it felt like a waste to throw them away, and she found that writing the story about how the cases came to be turned into a form of "cathartic relief".

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Top photos via Carousell / aforestnymph.