I felt like I let down a lot of people: Quah Jing Wen on losing her SEA Games gold medal crown

When Quah Jing Wen came in third at the 200m butterfly — the race where she won her first-ever SEA Games gold medal, and a crown she'd defended till yesterday — she broke down publicly.

In a rare show of anguish, she tearfully said that she "gives her everything" to her sport.

"To give your entire life to something and not have it paid back, even though you think you deserve it. It's just sports, and it's just really hard," she said.

"This event is very special to me. It was my first SEA Games gold and ever since then, I've been chasing a certain high that I just can't seem to reach for this event."

The Singapore swimmer, 24, broke her four-gold streak at the 2025 SEA Games for the first time since she took home the gold in 2017.

"Embarrassed"

Speaking to Mothership over a call, Quah said that she felt "embarrassed" at the race's aftermath.

"I'm not an arrogant person, but I'm a very proud athlete," she said.

Knowing that it could have been her fifth win in a row, she'd placed "a lot of expectations" on herself.

As a now-veteran, she also felt the weight of expectations from younger swimmers who look up to her as a role model.

"I was embarrassed, because I felt like I let down a lot of my people. My biggest supporters, the people at home, my country.

When I really think about it, I feel like the people that I've really really let down the most are my teammates... I feel like I've let them down with such an embarrassing race."

But grateful

But when she read the comments on the now-viral clip of her breakdown after the race, she felt "a little bit mind-blown" at the support she received.

"I was like, wow, all these people are watching me and supporting me... and then I show them a race that is so crazy and really bad. Personally, just really bad," she said.

"But it just warmed my heart knowing that people were still standing behind me even after one bad race."

People have sent her messages online, and her friends have texted her, encouraging her to "keep [her] chin up" in the next race.

"It just goes to show that these people don't just support me because I'm a fast swimmer who gets gold medals for Singapore. They support me for me," she said.

Quah will compete in the 100m butterfly, where she is the current defending champion, on Dec. 13.

Nothing like the SEA Games

Quah also reflected on her past SEA Games experiences, her first when she was just 15 years old.

Her sister, fellow national swimmer Quah Ting Wen, was then 23.

"Back then I thought she was so senior... I'm older than my sister [was] then," she said.

Now, she has teammates who are nearly 10 years younger than her, who she hopes to guide as they enter their first SEA Games.

"I just try to remind them to live in the moment and enjoy walking out into the finals, and hearing the cheers," she said.

"The SEA Games atmosphere is just crazy. I've been to so many games, and nothing really competes with the cheers and the sounds and the atmosphere of the SEA Games.

So I just try to remind them to take in everything and enjoy the moment, I guess."

Top image from 8World and Mothership