Nobody talks about how much paperwork comes after someone dies

I was in primary school when my grandmother passed away.

I don’t remember much about the funeral except that many adults were crying.

In fact, all I have is a distant recollection of my relatives huddled around discussing intensely, which I realised was over who should be handling the paperwork.

Back then, my immature self only wondered if I’d still get to eat my grandma’s homemade glutinous rice balls after her passing.

Fast forward, and close to a decade later, my grandfather left us.

This time, I wasn’t just an observer.

I was one of the people handling the paperwork, figuring out what to do with his assets.

That’s when I realised how complicated it can be when someone dies without leaving a will.

“Who’s going to handle this?”

When my grandfather passed in 2018, we went with his wishes to have a cremation after the funeral, so his ashes could be placed next to my grandmother’s.

I thought we would have time for ourselves after the funeral ended but nope.

My grandfather was around to make decisions when my grandmother passed.

Things were more complicated this time because he didn’t manage to make all his wishes known.

For instance, what should we do with his remaining assets such as the monies in his bank and CPF account? Who should be the one to decide for my grandfather? What would be his preference?

My grandfather didn’t leave a will, which meant that his assets would be distributed according to the Intestate Succession Act.

Not sure what that is, and thinking of googling this term? Been there, done that.

TL;DR: Asset distribution will follow what is prescribed in the law to your family members and relatives who survive you (yep - you can't leave some for your dog without that will).

More and more paperwork

As the value of my grandfather’s assets was below S$50,000, we applied to the Public Trustee directly. This means the government becomes the administrator of the assets.

It was then that I learnt that CPF savings don’t automatically go to family members unless a nomination has been made.

In my grandfather’s case, he hadn’t done so.

Therefore, we had to claim the CPF monies from the Public Trustee, which took some time (and a lot of effort).

I had to ask my aunts and uncles for their birth certificates to prove their relationship with my grandfather as part of the paperwork preparation.

If you’re wondering what’s so difficult, many of my aunts and uncles weren’t registered properly when my grandparents moved to Singapore back in the 1900s.

We also had to trawl through a bunch of documents just to find my grandmother’s death certificate.

No time to grieve

It’s one thing to be sad that someone is gone.

It’s another to take responsibility for sorting through their life savings and making sure that everything is distributed fairly to avoid disputes, while feeling emotionally and physically drained.

We had always assumed that we’d “figure things out when the time comes”, but when the time actually came, we didn’t have it all figured out.

Going through the trouble after my grandfather’s passing motivated my uncle to take the initiative to start these after-death conversations among my relatives, urging my parents to start legacy planning.

It was only then we realised legacy planning was not as complicated as we thought.

Some processes like making a CPF nomination were relatively straightforward and could be done online within minutes.

All that was needed were my parents’ Singpass, the NRIC particulars of their nominees, and the NRIC particulars of two witnesses of their choice.

It’s not just about will planning and anticipating deaths

We know how tricky life-and-death topics can be, so if you can’t find the right moment to talk about CPF nominations and will planning, why not start with the Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) and Advance Care Planning (ACP)?

An LPA is a legal document where you appoint someone whom you trust to make decisions on your behalf if you lose mental capacity.

This isn’t just about old age, because accidents or sudden illnesses can happen to anyone.

In short, an LPA allows your appointed trusted person to make decisions on your behalf once you have been assessed to not have the mental capacity to manage your own matters.

Let’s say you met with an accident and are no longer able to make decisions on your own. This person would have the legal right to manage your assets to support you.

ACP, on the other hand, is the process of planning for and communicating your healthcare and personal care needs and preferences.

While it is not legally binding, it provides healthcare professionals and your family with a guide to know how you want to be taken care of and make decisions that are in your best interests if you are no longer able to do so independently.

Whether it is a will, CPF nomination, LPA or ACP, they serve the common purpose of guiding our loved ones to know what to do, when we are unable to communicate with them anymore.

All of these sound heavy, and our parents may brush the topic off at the start, but we all know that it’s better for everyone to make our wishes known.

Speaking from my personal experience, dealing with a flurry of decisions after my grandfather’s passing, some made via voice recordings on WhatsApp, is not any easier.

Find a time to have a chat with your loved ones, and if you don’t know where to start, check out legacy planning resources provided by the government here.

Top photo from Canva.