Andrea Lim's world came crashing down when she was dealt a double blow in 2011.

At just 26, she was diagnosed with cancer and told she needed to terminate her pregnancy.

Lim, now 39, overcame the disease and is today a devoted mother to three children, with a new perspective on motherhood.

The diagnosis

Before Lim's cancer was diagnosed in 2011, the insurance professional started experiencing excruciating back pain — so bad that she could not go to work and was on medical leave for one month.

At its worst, she lost all sensation in both legs and struggled with simple things like going to the bathroom.

At the time, Lim was also six weeks into her second pregnancy.

Doctors at Tan Tock Seng Hospital found a tumour on her spinal cord, which was pressing on her nerves and thus affecting her legs.

Lim underwent a spinal cord operation to remove the tumour and decompress the nerves.

A biopsy of the tumour revealed that it was part of an aggressive cancer.

Lim was then diagnosed with lymphoma, a type of cancer that attacks the lymphatic system and affects the normal functioning of the immune system.

Losing her second pregnancy

Lim recalled how she was advised to terminate her pregnancy during her second trimester in order to undergo chemotherapy, or risk experiencing a life-threatening relapse.

"I would say that the pregnancy termination, even though it was very sad, actually saved my life."

She said her doctor had urged her to prioritise her own well-being, as she had a young child — her eldest daughter, Vera, who was two at the time.

"So I heeded that advice and moved on from there," she said simply.

Anyone in her position would have felt heartbroken, but Lim was not afforded the luxury of time to properly mourn her loss.

Due to the seriousness of her cancer at the time, Lim had to start chemotherapy the day after she terminated her pregnancy.

She resolved to soldier on through the termination and to proceed with the treatment immediately for the sake of her daughter.

Beating cancer and getting pregnant again

Fortunately, the treatment worked.

Two years later in 2013, doctors who were monitoring Lim's health for remission through periodical medical reviews delivered good news.

Lim was told that she had beaten cancer.

There was a certain glint in her eyes when asked about her reaction to beating the illness.

"I felt like I can actually conquer anything in life," she said.

It was also a bittersweet moment for her, as she'd had to terminate her pregnancy to save her own life.

Lim has since gone on to have two more children.

She was initially apprehensive about having children again, as she was concerned about her health.

However, she had wanted to give her eldest child a sibling.

Doctors who assessed her condition gave her the green light to conceive again, having concluded that she was unlikely to experience a cancer relapse or face other pregnancy-related risks.

According to the American Cancer Society, cancer patients who complete chemotherapy may be advised to wait from six months to a maximum of five years before conceiving again, in order to ensure full recovery.

Doctors at KK Women's and Children's Hospital said there is also no known evidence that post-cancer pregnancies carry any risks of miscarriage, or that children born of post-cancer pregnancies face a higher risk of health problems or congenital malformations.

However, Lim's mother was concerned when she shared her plans to conceive.

"She kept asking me, 'Are you sure you can?'" Lim said.

Her mother had doubted whether Lim would be able to handle the physical strain of another pregnancy after the cancer.

"There was still this post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after the whole cancer episode," Lim recalled.

At 30, she conceived her second daughter and also gave birth to a son two years later.

She delivered both children safely and without any complications.

"The greatest love"

Throughout Lim's cancer ordeal, she relied on the support of her family, including her then-husband, who she named as her biggest pillar of strength.

In February 2023, she ended her marriage of 13 years with him.

While she didn't share about the reasons for the separation, he remains involved in a co-parenting arrangement.

This means that Lim only spends a few weekdays with her children as they spend some of the days in each week with their father.

Lim said her cancer experience and the divorce have shaped her new perspective on motherhood as a single mother now.

As a mother who has loved and lost, her pregnancy termination has motivated her to cherish her children more and nurture them in a positive manner.

Meanwhile, the co-parenting arrangement means limited time with her children in a given week, and has made her more conscious about how she spends the time with them.

On her days with the children, she ferries them to school in the mornings and coaches them with homework in the evenings.

Over the weekends, she takes her two younger children, Sara and Anson, to activities like rollerblading classes and visits to the swimming pool.

She does all this while juggling full-time work as a financial adviser.

Lim also says she makes sure to parent them with care and kindness — especially since she has limited time with them in a given week.

In her interactions with her young children, she mostly spoke to them with a friendly, assuring tone and only switched to an authoritative voice when they were behaving dangerously.

She said that going through past adversities inspired her to become more understanding as a mother and also taught her to empathise more with other parents.

Despite the challenges of being a single mother, Lim recognises the importance of self-care.

To unwind, she attends yoga, singing and pole-dancing classes in between work and caring for her children.

"I've adopted a YOLO ("you only live once") attitude now, and wish to check off many things off my bucket list before I go," Lim quipped.

When she is occupied, she enlists the help of her family to help care for them.

She appeared to be an emotionally present mother who helped her children connect with their own emotions, too.

In car rides to school, she would listen attentively to their concerns or ramblings about school, and engage them in exploring solutions.

Lim also highlighted a similar approach with her eldest daughter, who is currently a teenager.

She said she tries to relate to her daughter by bringing up her own experiences, before allowing her to form her own opinions and make decisions.

She hopes for her children to see her as a source of inspiration, drawing motivation from how she managed to get back on her feet and move on from her cancer, in order to grow up into strong individuals.

She said that the obstacles she endured only showed her that she is capable of handling what life throws at her, and hopes that her children will be able to push through such challenges themselves.

Lim remains positive in her motherhood and is dedicated to giving her best as a single mother.

"As a mother, I also realised that this is the greatest love. I didn't know that I can love someone so much."

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