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'Producers told me to spice it up': 3 S'pore men who dated Texas woman share reality TV experience
How real is reality tv?
September 08, 2025, 03:46 PM
When Sean Sutiono was introduced on the American reality show Match Me Abroad, he was described as the man with the financial stability for Sarah Strain of Texas, U.S., for the life that she wanted.
The 30-year-old was also said to be "ready to start a family", seemingly a good match for Strain, who had come to Singapore to find love.
However, Sutiono's episode took a turn when he asked Strain some deeply personal questions.
Speaking to Mothership, he shared that the producers told him to "spice it up."
The two other men who also went on dates with Strain also shared their time on the show, which is still ongoing, and what really went on behind the scenes.
Weird questions
Match Me Abroad is a show on American cable channel TLC that features singles from the U.S. heading to other countries to find the love of their life.
Strain chose to come to Singapore as she felt that Singaporean men "have it all going on".
She added that she "loves" the way Singaporean men treat their women with the "utmost respect" and how they are very family-oriented, but was taken aback by Sutiono's personal questions.
In an interview with Mothership, Sutiono explained why he made such comments on the show.
"What's your body count?"
In his episode, Sutiono brought Strain out on a date on the Singapore Flyer for a fancy meal.
While in the car on the way to the Flyer, Sutiono immediately mentioned a girl he once dated, which seemed to put Strain in an awkward position.
As the date progressed, the subject of exes continued, eventually leading Sutiono to share that he had gone through a "hoe stage" in the past where he had multiple girlfriends at a time.
He moved on to also talk about his sex life and how he "explored" the idea of the adult entertainment industry.
Sutiono then "escalated things" and asked Strain what her "body count" was (i.e. how many people she had slept with).
Speaking with Mothership, Sutiono said that the producers told him to "really spice it up".
"The producers were really counting on me to make sure [the date] was something flamboyant, and I think I took it too far.
But the stories I did share were true."
Sutiono also pointed out that the way the show was edited also "amplified" his comments, as the scenes were not shot concurrently, but were made to appear so on television.
"Yes, the words do come out of my mouth, and it's still my responsibility. And I am apologetic and sorry if it ruffled any feathers."
However, it was for the "drama" and for the show, Sutiono added.
Not natural conversation
Being on a reality television show, he shared that it involved a lot of stopping, where the producers would sometimes remind them of the type of scene they were looking for and the topic of conversation they wanted them to cover in the next scene.
"So it's not natural. You always have to be on your toes a little bit, and it just doesn't flow, in a way. They are trying to position the show to have some sort of storytelling that will align everywhere," he said.
"But Singaporeans should know that it's not real. If it's really real, we would have a camera with us at every moment, and it's not edited."
When Sutiono knew that going on the show, it was not going to be "100 per cent real life", he went in with a persona that was amplified.
While the comments he made were true, he shared them in such a way that he knew it was "fake".
"I think I was very happy with the result of that show, actually, because it had a lot of people talking, and I got my intention and purpose out of that episode.
But I think, as a real relationship, please don't do that. That's not a gentleman's way."
Frog porridge in Geylang
The first man who brought Strain out on a date, 39-year-old Freddy Lim, brought her to eat frog porridge in Geylang.
On his food choice, Lim told Mothership that the producers asked him of Match Me Abroad to come up with a list of places he would bring his overseas friends.
The producers then chose the frog porridge place for them.
"I thought it was funny," said Lim. "Because it was supposed to be, in hindsight, it's supposed to be in a date. [But] in my mind, it wasn't a date."
When asked if he was acting, Lim replied that was when the line blurred.
For him, it was about "70 to 75 per cent" of the real him that was portrayed in the show.
At times when he got stuck and was not sure what to say, he would be prompted by the producers to keep the conversation flowing.
"I think both [Strain] and me really saw it as a shoot to be honest... It feels like just a work thing."
All three men who went on the show were given a stipulated amount of money a day for being on the show.
Genuine connection
44-year-old EJ Philip shared that he was cast on the show after his profile was pushed to TLC after appearing on Mr World Singapore 2023.
When he received an email from TLC towards the end of 2023 asking if he would like to go on a reality TV dating show, Philip thought it was a scam.
After checking that it wasn't, he hopped on a Zoom call with the team, who explained the premise of the show and asked if he was keen to join.
The process itself was also lengthy, as they only began filming in mid-April 2024.
Philip shared that they had to fill in a questionnaire that had 300 questions, a psychological test, an interview with a psychologist, an interview with the panel, a background check, and they had to do a blood test closer to the day of filming.
Going into filming, Philip was not sure what to expect, but he told himself to be "real" and enjoy the experience of being on the show.
"I wanted to give myself a chance and give the person that I was going to meet, a chance to really get to know each other, and just want to portray something on television."
Not acting
Philip said he was "not acting on the show", and at most, he was more conscientious about what he would say.
When it came to planning the date, Philip suggested bringing Strain to his gym as a way to push her boundaries and see if they are comfortable working out with him.
He also saw a boxing session with Strain as a way to gauge a person's true character and how they handled themselves.
Out of the three guys, Philip was the one who spent the most time with Strain, seemingly having built a genuine connection on the show as they went on multiple dates.
He added that they had a great time, and they managed to discuss numerous personal topics as well.
"We really connected on the deep things that mattered to her and also mattered to me. So I think that's the basis of trying to get someone right?"
At the end of it all, Philip said that what he showed on television was "real" and he tried to be as authentic as he could be.
Philip added that the show was not scripted, as the words said by Strain and himself were all their own.
However, they were guided by the team to discuss specific topics, as the show had a structured format.
While the producers would ask if specific topics could be addressed, Philip shared that they were pretty respectful and understanding when he chose not to talk about them and did not pressure him.
"At the end of the day, you choose how you want to word everything. It's all on you, your emotions, your feelings."
Top photos via Mothership & TLC/YouTube
