Actor Nick Teo says late mum-in-law's last words were for him to give in to wife Hong Ling & take care of her

Local celebrity couple Nick Teo and Hong Ling reflected on how experiencing loss in their lives has shaped their perspective on marriage, as well as on each other.

In an interview with Lianhe Zaobao, which was published on May 20 — a day often celebrated as the unofficial "Internet Valentine’s Day" in China — the couple spoke about how their relationship has grown in the past 10 years.

"Take care of her"

2025 proved to be an especially difficult year for the pair.

Hong Ling, 31, had lost her mother, Kaewsoda Kesorn, to cancer in February that year, and three months later, the couple revealed that Hong Ling had suffered a miscarriage at 11 weeks.

Her grandmother also passed away in September.

Speaking to Zaobao, Teo shared that his mother-in-law had left him a message before she passed on:

"I know you work hard, but give in to [Hong Ling] more, and take care of her."

Hearing those words broke his heart, he said, describing the weight of the trust placed on him.

Hong Ling added that her mother was someone who always put family first and gave unconditionally.

Over time, she came to see the same quality in Teo, who handles most of their household chores and quietly looks out for those around him.

Learning to let someone else take charge

Growing up as the eldest of three siblings, Hong Ling said she had always been very independent — managing family trips, booking flights and planning itineraries for more than 10 relatives entirely on her own.

As such, she was not used to depending on others.

However, this changed after she met Teo.

"Now I just push these things onto him," she said. "Pretending to be tough all the time can be even more exhausting, isn’t it? Sometimes it’s okay to act like you don’t know."

Now, when the two travel abroad, she will wait for Teo to fill out the immigration forms for her, though she continues to handle everything by herself when she travels alone with her family.

Navigating family dynamics

The couple also spoke candidly about a tension many married couples face: balancing loyalty to one's parents with the needs of a new family.

Teo noted that in many Chinese families, filial piety is such a strong part of their culture that husbands may prioritise their mothers over their wives without even realising it.

To the 36-year-old, once a couple starts their own family, that unit becomes the core.

However, he clarified that this does not mean being unfilial.

Rather, he said, the key lies in husbands taking the initiative: Understanding their mother's sensitivities and working through any friction together with their wives, instead of stepping aside and leaving them to navigate it alone.

Hong Ling shared similar sentiments, noting that a husband who consistently sides with his mother would risk leaving his wife feeling sidelined and disheartened.

But when a husband is willing to navigate that tension alongside his wife, she is more likely to respond with understanding, as well as make the effort to build a better relationship with her mother-in-law.

Teo added that the dynamic is not always one-sided: Hong Ling sometimes understands his own mother's feelings and reactions better than he does.

Approaching conflict

Experiencing loss and grief, Hong Ling said, also changed how she approaches conflict in her marriage.

"I don't want us to fight out of pride," said Hong Ling. "I'll think: what if he's suddenly gone the next second? What would I do? I don't want to live with any regrets."

Before, the couple's focus had been on building their careers, saving money and planning for the future.

Now, she said, "the most important thing is simply having him healthy and by my side."