Court dismisses S’pore man’s claim that dad, 97, lacks mental capacity to marry secretary whom he had affair with

A family court has dismissed an application by a man, who alleged that his father, 97, had lost his mental capacity and was unable to make independent decisions about his life.

The elderly man had been in a relationship with his secretary for over five decades, following an affair with her in 1971.

But when he tried to marry her in 2021, his family opposed the marriage, resulting in a prolonged legal dispute.

In her judgment in January 2026, District Judge Shobha Nair said people often have preconceived notions about the cognitive ability of the elderly.

But a lack of capacity cannot be determined solely by a person's age or appearance, according to the Mental Capacity Act.

Extramarital affair

Citing court proceedings, Lianhe Zaobao reported that the man established his chemical manufacturing company in the 1960s and remains a director to this day.

He married in 1950 and has three sons.

In 1971, the man had an extramarital affair with his secretary and the two had a child together.

His wife was aware of the affair but did not divorce him. She passed away in 2014.

Two years later, the secretary moved in with the man. At the time, his second son and his family, including his grandson, were also living in the same house.

In mid-2021, the secretary informed the family of their plans to get married in June that year, prompting a family meeting.

The secretary told the family that she was Catholic and wished to marry legally, adding that she would leave if she did not receive their support.

Family objected

But the family opposed the marriage.

His second son filed an application in the family court, asking the judge to rule that his father had lost his mental capacity and was, therefore, incapable of making independent decisions about his life.

He claimed that his father’s mental capacity had deteriorated after a fall at home in September 2017, and that he may be suffering from dementia.

The grandson also lodged a notice of objection to the marriage, but later withdrew it.

Following his family's attempts to stop the marriage, the man amended his will to exclude his second son and his second son's child from inheriting his estate, unless they withdrew their applications.

He also filed two civil suits — one against his second son for S$3.8 million allegedly belonging to the company, and another against his grandson for refusing to move out.

Both cases are still pending.

Judge urged people to set aside preconceived notions

In their applications, the second son and grandson maintained that the man's actions were taken under the manipulation and influence of others.

The second son also claimed his father had no recollection of informing the family about the changes to his will.

They asked the court to invalidate documents the man had signed, including an enduring power of attorney and a will addendum, on the grounds that he lacked mental capacity.

However, the judge found the claims unpersuasive and dismissed the application.

While the second son claimed that his father lost his mental capacity after the 2017 fall, he did not challenge his father’s decision to appoint him general manager of the company in 2019, she noted.

Recordings of conversations between the man and his grandson also showed that he was aware of his actions, the judge said.

She said behaviours such as slowed speech, the need for repetition, or occasional confusion may be age-related and do not necessarily indicate a loss of mental capacity.

Such issues, she said, must be assessed by medical specialists.

Doctors who assessed the man concluded that while he had mild cognitive impairment, including short-term memory loss, he was still capable of understanding information, weighing options and making decisions on matters, such as marriage, asset transfers and revisions to his will.

The judge accepted these findings and ruled that the man retained his mental capacity to make decisions.

She also noted that the relationship between the businessman and his secretary had lasted five decades — longer than many marriages — and found no evidence that she had sought to defraud him of money.

The judge added that the sons, having witnessed their mother’s pain following their father’s affair, were likely reliving those emotions decades later when he decided to remarry.

They were, therefore, unwilling to accept a decision that could change the family’s circumstances, she said.

Don't make assumptions: Judge

The judge cautioned against making assumptions about the cognitive abilities of elderly individuals.

She said that under the Mental Capacity Act, a person's competence cannot be assessed solely based on age, appearance or certain behaviours.

She also urged the public to refrain from speculating on why a 97-year-old would want to remarry, stating that once it is ruled that an individual possesses the mental capacity to make decisions, their choices have to be respected.

The court’s role, she said, was to determine whether the decision was made of the man’s own free will, not whether the decision is morally or logically acceptable.

The man's second son has since appealed the ruling.

Top photos via Canva and Google Maps