Higher-earning mother to pay child maintenance, ex-husband granted care & control of their 3 children

The care and control of three children, aged 13, 10 and 6, was granted to their father instead of mother, and the mother was ordered to pay a total of S$1,190 in monthly child maintenance to the father.

This is after the court found that the father would be able to better provide them with a more structured environment as well as more parental guidance and supervision.

The court expressed concern that the woman would be at home with the children but did not engage with them and instead did her own things.

This supposedly resulted in the eldest child being able to access pornographic material at a young age.

The mother also allegedly has hoarding tendencies.

The couple are currently in the midst of divorce proceedings, with an interim judgement dissolving the marriage granted on Jan. 7, 2025, after 11 years of marriage.

Both parents sought care and control over children

The mother is a 43-year-old financial advisor, while the father is a 45-year-old private hire driver.

The pair got married on Jan. 5, 2014.

They had three children together, who are aged 13, 10 and 6 this year.

After 11 years of marriage, they sought a divorce.

In his judgement on matters pertaining to the children, District Judge Edmund Chew noted that both parents sought care and control.

Mother's case

The mother's position was that she had been the primary caregiver of the children and was involved in their activities in and outside of school.

She also arranged events and activities for the children to attend.

The mother has also filed a personal protection order (PPO) against the husband for herself and for her children in 2021 and alleged that the husband breached the PPO by caning one of their children.

As such, she submitted that she was fearful for her and her children's safety.

Father's case

On the other hand, the father submitted that the mother was unable to supervise the children properly.

The father's case was that the mother would frequently be engaged with her mobile devices instead of focusing on the children.

He also noted that the children were unsupervised at home and that the mother did not monitor the media content they consumed.

The mother also delegated caregiving duties to her parents, who did not treat the children well, according to the father's claim.

As a result, the eldest child was able to access pornographic material at a young age, and there were also instances where the children were able to leave home unsupervised.

The mother also has hoarding tendencies and was featured in a local television programme focused on home decluttering, the judgement noted the father as claiming.

Given all these, the children did not cultivate proper sleeping habits and study routine, the father alleged. The two elder children were found by their teachers to be sleeping in class.

Judgement

Explaining his judgement, Chew wrote that the welfare of the child is always the court's "paramount consideration".

Although he noted that both parents "loved the children very much", he found that the children's welfare would be best served by granting care and control to the father.

Different parenting styles

Each parent possessed "different strengths" and "their own limitations", which manifested in the way they interacted with the children and their different views on caregiving styles.

Chew noted that the mother exhibited a more "permissive stance" and left the children to their own devices.

By contrast, the father took a "firmer and active" stance and saw the need to discipline the children when they did something wrong.

Children need structure to thrive

The judge expressed concern that the children were unsupervised in their device usage and had no limit placed on their screen time at night.

This lack of supervision has already affected the children, Chew noted, including their inability to stay awake and focused in school.

Chew also wrote that it was inappropriate for the children to go to school on their own without adult supervision, be left alone at home or be allowed to leave home whenever they wanted.

"In my view, this needs to change," the judge wrote.

"The key considerations in my mind were the urgent need for a stable routine, which included having good sleeping habits, and the need for close adult supervision," Chew noted.

This included matters such as a regular bedtime routine instead of being allowed to use their phones late into the night.

"With such arrangements in place, the children would then enjoy a conducive home environment in which they can thrive, not least in their physical growth and academic work," he wrote.

He also commented that the three children have "unique personalities" and believe they can "grow up to be wonderful people" so long as appropriate guidance is given to them.

Father more able to provide structured environment

He therefore found that the father was able to provide "a more structured environment" and would be more involved in the supervision of the children.

"In that way, the children would reside with an adult who would closely supervise them and give them the structured routine required," Chew wrote.

He said that it was "not desirable" for the mother to be at home with the children but "simply did her own things" without engaging or supervising them.

Chew also found that the children were not fearful of the father, as the mother alleged.

Mother's child-raising efforts recognised

The judge emphasised that he recognised the love of both parents towards their children.

"I have seen the efforts and pains the [mother] has gone through just to bring the children up to where they are now, and I commend her for that... My decision in no way discounts the sacrifices she has put in for the children," Chew wrote.

With the judgement, the mother would get access to the children on weekends and holidays, based on a schedule.

Mother ordered to pay child maintenance, will not get wife maintenance

As to child maintenance, the father proposed that the children's expenses be split according to their respective incomes, with one-third footed by him and two-thirds by the mother.

The judge disagreed with this division.

Chew noted that while the father declared his monthly income as S$4,200, his submitted income statements suggested that his average earnings in a span of four weeks would more likely be S$5,000.

The mother's income was S$8,300.

Based on these income figures, Chew decided that the children's expenses would be split in the ratio of 38 per cent to the father and 62 per cent to the mother.

The judge estimated that a reasonable monthly expense for the children amounted to S$1,192.

Chew ordered the mother to pay a total of S$1,190 a month in child maintenance to the father, seeing as the father was granted care and control.

She will also not receive wife maintenance from the father.

Matrimonial flat

The judge also decided on matters related to the couple's matrimonial flat, ordering that the mother decide within four weeks of the judgement on whether she intended to retain the matrimonial flat.

If she decides to retain the flat, she would have to pay the father S$218,998.87 to transfer his rights, title and share in the flat.

If she does not make a decision on the flat by the stipulated deadline, the flat will be sold on the open market.

The proceeds will be used to make payments on outstanding loans and pay legal costs and expenses, with the remainder split among the pair.

Concluding his judgement, Chew wrote, "It is my sincere hope that parties can see themselves as sharing in the responsibility of child-rearing, working towards a common aim: to guide the children and help them develop into their best possible version of themselves."