Comment: PM Wong's wife took part in a 'spouses' programme' at the Asean Summit. It was a glorified arts-&-crafts workshop.

On Oct. 27, a dozen of the world's most prominent women convened in a boardroom at the 47th Asean Summit in Kuala Lumpur.

The day's agenda?

A beadwork embroidery demonstration, a terrarium-making workshop, and a kebaya showcase.

At the Spouses's Programme, Wan Azizah Wan Ismail, the wife of Malaysian prime minister Anwar Ibrahim, hosted the spouses of the various heads of state.

All of them were women, which means all the leaders were men.

But that's a problem for another day.

Spouses' programme

A spouses' programme is fairly standard part of many international or regional delegations.

There have been similar programmes at the G20 Summit, the APEC Summit, and the Pacific Islands Leaders Meeting (PALM), for instance.

They're essentially meant to tap into a spouse's "soft power". Not every country has an official First Lady/First Gentleman position, but they do all have some influence.

In Singapore for instance, Jane Ittogi — while lacking the official office of First Lady — takes on many of the traditional duties of one, such as working with the disadvantaged and being a patron of the arts.

So what happens during a spouses' programme?

There's generally a strong socio-cultural element. At the 2025 APEC Summit in South Korea, guests visited local UNESCO World Heritage sites, toured the provincial office, and engaged in liquor-brewing and kimchi-making.

At the 2023 G20 Summit in India, they explored heritage sites in Delhi, spoke to farmers about India's agricultural prowess, and visited the National Gallery of Modern Art.

It's essentially a field trip in a country's culture, heritage, and history.

Heart gestures & terrariums

Spouses' programmes are always a little "soft". They're fun, they're cultural, they're great for photo ops.

But the one at the KL summit felt overly so, to the point of being condescending.

In one picture, the spouses were seen making heart-gestures while donning aprons.

While some activities — the kebaya showcase and the beadwork demo, for instance — felt overly gendered.

Among the more eyebrow-raising of the activities was a terrarium workshop.

The host, Wan Azizah, said it was a lesson in "maintaining regional harmony".

But it feels like a stretch. Exactly what part do terrariums play in Malaysia's cultural heritage?

If a male participant had been present, would the curation of activities have been the same?

To me, it felt like a glorified arts-and-crafts workshop, poorly concealed beneath a thin veneer of cultural diplomacy.

And coincidentally or not, all the attendees happened to be women.

Women with influence

Here's a quick look-through the list of attendees at the Spouses' Programme:

There's Loo Tze Lui, wife of Singapore prime minister Lawrence Wong, who despite her quiet public presence, is known to have a longstanding career in finance.

Diana Fox Carney, wife of Canadian prime minister Mark Carney, is a widely respected economist and climate policy expert.

Liza Araneta Marcos, the First Lady of the Philippines, is a lawyer and academic who's a keen advocate of the arts, social welfare, and education.

And the host Wan Azizah herself, who of course was the former deputy prime minister of Malaysia (the first woman to hold that position), a former Leader of the Opposition, a former cabinet minister, and a former ophthalmologist.

Not all the attendees are equally accomplished.

But each has plenty of influence in her own right, as a soft diplomat, as a cultural icon, and as a national spokesperson.

What it could've been

The Spouses' Programme could have — and indeed should have — been an opportunity for them to better learn about Malaysia, while still allowing them to rub shoulders.

At the 2021 G20 Summit in Italy, the spouses programme' included a discussion of South Korea's pursuit of peace in the Korean Peninsula, with then-First Lady Kim Jung Sook requesting support from her counterparts in the U.S. France, and Italy.

Whereas at a luncheon for spouses at the 2023 Brics Summit, South African First Lady Tshepo Motsepe encouraged her peers to push for early childhood development in poor and middle-income countries.

These higher-impact activities can of course still be interspersed with activities that shed light on a country's culture, heritage, and causes.

Take the recent PALM, held in September at the Solomon Islands. The guests visited the national art gallery and engaged in traditional handicrafts, like basket-weaving.

They then had the opportunity to speak to local artisans and craft makers, browse their stalls, and learn about the Islands' cultural heritage.

It's still fun, still soft.

But such a programme cannot, and should not, ever be merely a gathering of nice ladies doing handicrafts over tea and pastries.

Working for the country

It's a good reminder that spouses of world leaders stand for something.

They can exchange understandings, build relationships, field diplomacy. They can fight for important causes and back important convictions.

Whether they like it or not, they represent their country, speak on behalf of it, and champion their people.

A leader's spouse is more than just a companion. There's real work involved, and it's why many countries turn it into an office of power.

As Wan Azizah herself put it:

"I believe, as spouses, we also hold a unique position.

We are often the 'soft diplomats', the community builders, and the bridges of the heart.

Our influence, whether direct or indirect, can nurture the long-term foundations of friendship that our partners build in their formal meetings."

May future "field trips" reflect this spirit.

Top image from KPWKM/Facebook