Chinese woman demands S$5,500 ‘hugging fee’ after cancelling wedding, says it's compensation for 'embracing' during photoshoot

A woman from Henan, China, has gone viral after asking her ex-fiancé to deduct 30,000 yuan (S$5,500) from a refunded betrothal gift as a “hugging fee” compensation for the embraces they shared during a pre-wedding photo shoot, reported the South China Morning Post.

The story, first reported by Henan TV, has garnered over 23 million views on Chinese social media and sparked widespread disbelief and criticism, with many users calling the woman’s request “bizarre” and “immoral.”

Hugging fee

The couple, from Pingdingshan in Henan province, met last year through a matchmaker and became engaged in January 2025 with plans to marry in November, according to Sinar Harian.

The groom’s family had already given a 200,000 yuan (S$36,600) betrothal gift and booked a hotel for the wedding banquet.

However, just two months before the wedding, the bride-to-be told the man she no longer wished to marry him, reportedly saying he was “too honest” and had “too low an income.”

She agreed to return the betrothal money, but asked to keep 30,000 yuan (S$5,500) as a “hugging fee”, claiming it covered “expenses” and compensation for physical contact during their photo shoot.

According to the couple’s matchmaker, Wan, the hug happened only because the photographer asked the pair to pose that way.

Wan told the media:

“I’ve introduced more than 1,000 couples in the past decade. Her family is the most difficult I’ve ever met. Their demand for 30,000 yuan (S$5,500) is immoral.”

According to Wan, the woman also thought that the man was “too honest” and “had too little income.”

“We do not have major disputes. I just do not want to marry him.”

After negotiations, both families settled: the woman returned 170,500 yuan (S$31,200) of the original gift.

Dowry debate

The case has reignited public debate over China’s long-standing tradition of caili, which is a form of dowry or betrothal payment customarily given by the groom’s family as a sign of sincerity.

According to SCMP, these payments range from ¥100,000 to ¥500,000 (S$18,300 to S$91,400), often placing significant financial pressure on men and their families.

Legal disputes over caili are increasingly common, especially when engagements are called off, and China has made attempts to crack down on the exorbitant bride prices in recent years.

In some past cases, courts have ordered women to return the full sum, though these are all very case-specific.

Top images via Pixabay, HK01