Words of affirmation or offering a shoulder to cry on: Discovering my love language

When you ask me about love languages, my first thought is how couples show their love for each other.

A quick Google search will land you on numerous sites about love languages and their benefits for you and your partner.

They boast about how knowing your love language and your partner’s can help both of you understand each other’s ways of expressing love, making communicating and receiving love easier.

However, love is not confined to just romantic relationships.

Love extends to friends and family, and knowing your love language can help you love and be loved.

Instead of doing a random online quiz to determine my love language, I decided to pay extra attention to my thoughts and actions to decipher my love language.

Quality Time

Quality time is straightforward.

It is giving your undivided attention to the other person. So be it your partner or your friend, you make an effort to stop checking your phone or getting distracted, focusing all your attention on the other person.

It’s about being physically and mentally present for each other.

Quality time does not have to be spent with others; it could also be spending quality time by yourself.

For the past couple of weeks, I have been overwhelmed at work and felt drained and burnt out. Hanging out and spending time with others felt like a chore, exhausting and tiring.

I just wanted to spend some time by myself.

Sometimes, you do need that time alone. For example, you could take a scenic walk by the river or watch your favourite comfort show with your favourite snacks, enjoying some me-time.

In simpler terms, you have to treat yourself. It is a great way to show yourself some love and appreciation.

Quality time with yourself does not have to be spending a day in a spa or anything extravagant.

It can be as simple as spending an hour alone by the pool at night, watching your favourite show and snacking on some chocolate after a particularly long day at work.

Acts of Service

When it comes to acts of service, a simple, thoughtful, selfless act can warm a person’s heart as it helps to make a person’s life easier.

The best part is when someone does something for you to help lighten the load when you least expect it.

The act can be as mundane as vacuuming the floor or taking over cooking duties after a tiring day.

Or it can be as simple as carrying your bag for you.

When it was a particularly long day, my partner would wordlessly take my bulky bag from me and hold it because he could see how worn out I was. It makes me feel seen and appreciated.

And acts of service go both ways.

I help my partner run errands when I know he is busy with work and unable to do them, taking a load off his shoulders.

Words of Affirmation

Words are a powerful way to express your love for anyone, not just for a partner.

You do not know when people need to hear a small encouraging word to get through the day.

What would be a cool way to encourage my colleagues and spread fun, joyous cheer in the office? With chocolate! I mean, who does not like chocolate?

Armed with Kinder Bueno’s new packaged treats with eight different positive affirmations, I specially chose each pack to give to some of my colleagues.

These limited edition chocolates have encouraging phrases like “Dream It, Do It” or “Be Adventurous” and can be found in stores where you can handpick specific packaging with certain people in mind.

I decided to pass along some positivity by giving my colleagues a pack of Kinder Bueno with a unique message specially chosen for each person.

For a colleague who shared that she was not confident with her new hairstyle, I gave her a Kinder Bueno that said, “ You are Unique”. It made her feel appreciated and confident.

For another, I gave him a “Be Adventurous” as a bit of risk and stepping out of one’s comfort zone can do wonders for the soul. Sometimes, it just takes a small leap of faith to do something great.

Words can speak volumes, but it is more meaningful when wrapped around chocolate.

If you do not have any chocolate, you can send some positive vibes to anyone with a Kinder Bueno sticker on Telegram or Whatsapp. Show your appreciation to someone you care about with a simple tap of a button.

These words of encouragement and positivity helped me convey my appreciation towards my colleagues who have supported me through trying times at work.

See, love languages do not always involve a romantic partner.

Physical Touch

Physical touch is not confined to just romantic partners. Sometimes all you need is a shoulder to lie on, literally.

When a friend of mine had a bad day, being there as a shoulder for her to cry on felt fulfilling.  It is a great way to show my love and care.

Even though I did not have to say a word, being there for her was all she needed.

If not, a tight hug from the right person can help melt your worries.

Receiving and Giving Gifts

You can give yourself a gift to reward yourself simply because you can.

Give yourself a treat like that bag you have been eyeing for a while but have been putting off buying for practical reasons.

It could be something as simple as a cup of calming tea at the end of a long workday as a mid-week surprise.

It does not have to be an extravagant gift.

And while it is great to receive gifts from others as it lets you know what the other person is trying to convey to you without words, the smile you get after giving someone a gift when they least expect it can be so much more heartwarming and impactful.

It feels good to give gifts, as it is a tangible way to show your care and love for someone else.

You could randomly surprise your friend with a snack they have been craving.

Is it cheating if I consider giving chocolates as a gift?

There is not one particular love language that spoke to me.

Yet, I appreciate each one because it was another way to show love and be loved.

A quiz could help me determine which love languages I favour, but all of them are intertwined and are just different ways to express your love for those around you.

Be it your partner, friends, colleagues or family,  it does not hurt to express your love for them in a way you resonate with.

Figure out your love language through a quiz online, or pay extra attention to the little things that happen throughout the day and how they make you feel. Once you know your love language and those around you, you can spread a little positivity.

When in doubt of others’ love language, gift them chocolates. Everyone loves chocolates, especially when they come with encouraging messages.

Top photo via Canva and Hannah Martens

This sponsored ad by Kinder Bueno made this writer want to give out chocolates to everyone.