‘Our lives are totally destroyed’: Family of Muay Thai fighter, 24, who died after charity match, left reeling in aftermath of loss

On Sep. 12, Susan Lee was supposed to celebrate her 52nd birthday surrounded by family.

But the day took a devastating turn when her son, Damian Ong, fell into a coma.

That day, the 24-year-old had participated in the "Fight for Hope" Muay Thai charity event. It was meant to raise funds for breast cancer.

Instead, he suffered a head injury and ended up in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU).

For two agonising weeks, he fought for his life.

On Sep. 27, Damian was officially pronounced brain dead.

The day of the match

Speaking to Mothership days after his wake, his parents and older sister recounted the incident.

The whole family had gathered to watch Damian compete that day, and they planned to go for a celebratory meal afterwards.

From their vantage point in the stands, Damian appeared to be doing “okay”, having finished his first two bouts still on his feet.

He was still standing and fighting in his third and final bout when the referee called a stop to the match.

This is one of the moments the family continues to question, Damian’s sister, Agnes Ong, said.

What did the referee see that prompted the decision to stop the bout?

After the winner was announced, Damian was still able to walk over to his opponent’s side to shake hands.

It was only after he returned to his resting area that he began complaining of dizziness.

Susan went over to him and noticed that his left eye was swollen.

“His last words to me were, ‘Mummy, I feel very dizzy. I need to rest.’," Susan recounted, choking back tears.

Seen by medics on site, told to call SCDF

After the match, medics arrived to assess Damian.

They told the gym staff that they would return to check on him in 10 minutes.

Shortly afterwards, Damian began rolling around in pain, Agnes said. He was also pressing both sides of his head.

Although a private ambulance was on site, the medics apparently told the gym staff to call the Singapore Civil Defence Force (SCDF) to transport Damian to hospital.

“So then, there was a slight delay because we had to call our own ambulance,” Agnes said.

According to Agnes, the medics on site said they were unable to transport Damian in the private ambulance.

She added that there was also confusion over which entrances the SCDF ambulance could use, causing further delays.

SCDF paramedics eventually arrived and transported Damian to Tan Tock Seng Hospital.

“When Damian was in the SCDF ambulance, I saw tears coming out from his eyes, and that was the last scene I have of him,” Agnes said, tearing up.

Listening to her daughter, Susan murmured: “Damian must have been in such great pain that it made him tear.”

Damian was usually a strong person who did not cry easily, Agnes added.

Fighting for hope in the ICU

At the hospital, computed tomography (CT) scans revealed extensive bleeding in Damian’s brain.

Doctors recommended surgery to remove part of his skull and clear the blood clots.

However, they warned the family that even if the surgery was successful, Damian’s quality of life would be “very poor” if he regained consciousness.

The family was not ready to give up.

After a five-hour operation, Damian was admitted to the intensive care unit (ICU).

There, his family prayed every day for him to wake up.

They played old Chinese songs he liked and dabbed small amounts of his favourite foods on his lips, hoping to somehow rouse him.

At one point, they noticed his face “flushing red” — a sign of life they desperately clung to.

“Ultimately, it could also be Damian doesn't want to come back to be in a state where he doesn't want to be,” Agnes surmised.

His last act of selflessness

On Sep. 27, at 6:50pm, a doctor officially pronounced Damian brain dead.

His father, Jeffrey Ong, said the entire family broke down in tears upon hearing the news.

But they knew the doctors had done their best, and that even the best medical care could not save him.

When doctors raised the possibility of organ donation, Jeffrey said the family was initially hesitant.

However, he recalled how Damian had once expressed his desire to donate his organs after watching his grandfather undergo kidney dialysis.

The family decided to honour that wish and do what they believed Damian would have wanted.

Before the organ retrieval procedure, Damian was honoured with a walk through the hospital, surrounded by hospital staff, family and friends.

“He did not manage to survive. But he gave hope to four person, four lives,” Susan said.

Seeking answers

But Damian’s parents and older sister are left grappling with their grief while seeking answers.

Was there more that could have been done to prevent this tragedy?

Their biggest question is whether appropriate safety protocols were in place.

Jeffrey acknowledged that every sport carries risks, particularly high-contact sports such as Muay Thai, where injuries can occur.

Still, he questioned whether adequate safety measures had been in place, given that the medics had left Damian after an initial assessment and they had to wait for an SCDF ambulance before he could be taken to hospital.

Agnes said the police are investigating the incident, while relevant organisations, including the Singapore Muay Thai Association, are conducting their own internal investigations.

For now, the family can only wait for answers as they grapple with their loss and the questions that continue to haunt them.

The Ministry of Health (MOH) said that licensed ambulance providers are required to properly triage patients before conveyance.

This was in response to a 2024 parliamentary reply to a question about the circumstances under which private ambulance providers would advise a patient or their family to call for an SCDF ambulance during a medical emergency.

"Where the provider assesses that it cannot safely convey the patient, the provider must make appropriate alternative arrangements, such as calling for an SCDF ambulance, for the safe and timely conveyance of the patient. In the event of a life-threatening medical emergency, the public should call for an SCDF ambulance in the first instance," MOH said then.

SMA declined to comment when Mothership reached out to them on Oct. 14, citing an ongoing independent review.

Sport Singapore and The Kallang Group also previously confirmed with Mothership that they are aware of the incident and are working closely with relevant parties to support the review of the incident.

Remembering Damian

For Agnes, the loss means losing the one person she would turn to with all the little updates about her life.

To her, Damian was a younger brother who felt more like a “kor kor” (older brother).

He was someone who gave without expecting anything in return, she said.

Susan described Damian as a “responsible and sensible” son.

He readily pitched in around the house, from doing the laundry to cooking for the family.

Each time he went for a Muay Thai competition, he would reassure his worried family, especially his mother.

“He said rest assured that it's safe with headgear and all the necessary protection,” Susan recalled.

Now, the once-lively household, filled with the sounds of Damian cooking his signature Western dishes and playing old pop songs, is shrouded in an overwhelming emptiness.

“Our lives are totally destroyed,” Jeffrey said.

Finding comfort in the community

Amid their grief, the family has been heartened by the outpouring of support from those who loved Damian.

About 100 people visited him while he was in hospital. Some of his close friends even stayed overnight nearby, Jeffrey said.

Similarly, many also turned up to pay their respects at Damian’s wake.

Friends from kindergarten and primary school, his gym buddies and even neighbours the family barely knew.

One elderly woman told the family that Damian would carry her groceries whenever he saw her at the void deck.

Another uncle, who had played basketball with Damian since he was a child, recalled greeting him at the court just days before his death.

On the final day of Damian’s wake, his loved ones released balloons into the sky in his memory.

Those who knew and loved — and still love — Damian during his 24 years wrote their final messages to him on the balloons.

When asked what they would say to Damian if he were still here, each family member had a slightly different answer.

“Please wake up and recover,” his father pleaded.

“I want to let him know that he doesn't have to worry about us. So he can just fly wherever he wants to right now,” his sister reassured.

“Forever, my beloved son, always in my heart,” his mother cried.