S'pore woman alleges funeral provider handed over father's body in pee-stained clothes after she changed providers

A woman took to social media to describe her experience with a funeral provider in Singapore, which she had engaged to handle her father's cremation.

She alleged that after she decided to terminate the provider's services upon learning about a past incident involving the company, her father was handed over to a new funeral provider with clothes stained with urine.

She also alleged that the original cremation booking for her father was released after she terminated the provider's services, resulting in the new funeral provider having to secure another slot.

"All I could do was trust"

Speaking to Mothership, the woman, surnamed Low, said the incident took place on Sep. 1.

She said she had opted for a direct cremation for her father and was quoted S$1,480 for the service by Harmony Funeral Care (HFC).

HFC subsequently collected her father's body at about 5am that day, and Low said she trusted it to handle his final arrangements with care.

"When they took him away, I trusted them. As his daughter, there was nothing else I could do," she said.

"I couldn't follow him behind those doors. I couldn't see where he was being kept. I couldn't see how he was being treated. All I could do was trust."

Decided to terminate their services

According to Low, she later learnt about a 2019 incident involving HFC, in which an employee had allegedly collected the wrong body from an embalmer, resulting in the wrong body being cremated.

HFC and its director subsequently apologised for the distress caused by the incident.

Learning about the incident frightened her, Low said, as cremation is irreversible.

"I had already lost my dad," she said. "I could not bear the thought of anything else going wrong with his final journey."

As such, she decided to terminate HFC's services and engaged another funeral provider.

Father's clothes were allegedly stained with urine

Low said her father had a urine bag attached to him when HFC first collected him.

Before they took him away, she said she had specifically asked if the urine bag could be removed and handled properly.

According to Low, HFC assured her that it could.

She said her father was wearing green when he was collected and that she was later informed he had been changed into another set of clothing.

About 10 hours later, at around 1pm or 2pm, his body was handed over to the new funeral provider, Low said.

During the handover, the new provider took photographs of her father so that Low could confirm his identity.

However, the photographs showed that the clothes he had been changed into were visibly stained with urine, she said.

Low said she believed the staining occurred because her father's urine bag or body had not been handled properly during the changing process.

The new funeral provider subsequently offered to clean her father and dress him in a fresh suit, she said.

"It may sound like something small to other people, but to me, as his daughter, it meant everything. Seeing my dad properly dressed again gave me at least a little comfort during one of the most painful days of my life."

Cremation slot allegedly released

Low also alleged that after she terminated HFC's services, the cremation booking that had been made for her father was released.

As a result, the new funeral provider could not simply take over the original booking and had to secure another slot, she said.

Fortunately, they eventually secured another slot later that night.

"Imagine already grieving your father and suddenly having to worry about whether he could even be cremated that day," she said.

Low also noted that HFC had retained her S$800 deposit.

"My dad is not a parcel you collected"

Low said the experience had made her reflect on the trust families place in funeral service providers during a particularly vulnerable period.

"After everything that happened, I deserve transparency. But more than the money, what hurts is the lack of communication and compassion," she said.

"My dad is not a parcel you collected at 5am. He is not a booking. He is not a cremation slot. He is my father."

Low said she chose to share her experience so that other grieving families would not "blindly assume everything is okay behind the scenes".

"I'm sorry, Dad. I really tried to settle everything properly for you. I just wanted to send you off peacefully and find you a beautiful final resting place," she said.

"I hope you know that choosing direct cremation never meant I cared any less. I love you. And until your very last journey, you deserved to be treated with dignity."

Funeral provider responds to the allegations

In an Instagram post on Sep. 15, HFC responded to the allegations and provided its account of what happened.

HFC said the family had indicated that they wanted the deceased to be dressed in the same clothes he had been wearing after washing and preparation.

When the deceased was collected that morning, there was no visible leakage or staining on his clothing, the company said.

HFC explained that for a direct cremation without embalming, which was the service selected by the family, final washing and preparation would be carried out closer to the viewing and cremation.

This was because natural post-death changes, including possible fluid leakage, could occur, it added.

However, HFC said it was later informed that another funeral provider would be taking over before it had the opportunity to carry out the washing and preparation.

It claimed that the handover was subsequently documented in the family group chat, along with photographs.

No concerns about stained or soiled clothing were raised in response to the handover, it added.

On the cremation booking, HFC said it had secured a slot at around 9am and paid the required booking fee.

At 11:41am, it was contacted by the incoming funeral provider regarding a possible change of funeral provider, HFC said.

The company then contacted the family, who confirmed the change at 11:59am.

As the booking had been made under HFC's arrangements and responsibility, it could not simply remain under HFC while another provider managed the funeral, the company said.

The booking was therefore released as part of the transfer of arrangements, it said.

HFC also addressed Low's allegation that it had retained her S$800 deposit.

The company said the deposit was non-refundable, as stated in the signed agreement.

By the time the arrangement was terminated, HFC said it had already incurred costs and committed resources towards manpower, transportation, care and safeguarding, the cremation booking and other operational matters.

HFC said it understood that funeral arrangements take place during an "exceptionally difficult and emotional time" and respected the family's experience and decision to change providers.

"At the same time, we believe it is important that the facts and context from our records are also shared," the company said, adding that it is not their intention to discredit the family’s experience or engage in a public dispute.

"Above all, we extend our sincere condolences to the family," it said.

Cremation booking cannot be transferred: NEA

In response to Mothership's queries, the National Environment Agency (NEA) said there are no restrictions on a next-of-kin (NOK) changing funeral service providers (FSP).

Cremation applications are made online via NEA's ePortal and can be submitted by either the NOK or the FSP.

If an applicant cancels a cremation booking, the vacated slot is released and made available on the ePortal for booking on a first-come, first-served basis, NEA said.

However, a cremation booking cannot be transferred.

Should the applicant wish to retain the booked slot, they can contact NEA for assistance with cancelling and rebooking the same slot, NEA said.