'Nothing taboo about afterlife planning': S'pore entertainer Abigail Chay, 67, holds living funeral as celebration of life

Singapore comedian Abigail Chay, 67, held an "afterlife farewell ceremony" on Jul. 10 as a celebration of life, friendship and the importance of planning for the inevitable.

The event, held at Centre 42 Black Box Theatre, was attended by friends, fellow entertainers and well-wishers.

More commonly known as a "living funeral", such ceremonies allow family and friends to celebrate someone's life while they are still alive.

They are often held by people nearing the end of life, though Chay told Mothership her health was perfectly fine, apart from some digestive issues.

One of Singapore's most prominent transgender entertainers, Chay first gained popularity after appearing in the local sitcom "Under One Roof" in 1995.

A celebration of life

Speaking to Mothership, Chay said the idea for the ceremony came about spontaneously during a conversation with a fellow actress and friend, Joey Swee.

Rather than celebrating only milestones such as birthdays and weddings, Chay said she also wanted to commemorate her eventual passing.

Saying that death can approach anyone suddenly, Chay expressed how she wanted to be able to experience celebrating her life with her loved ones before that moment comes.

Chay later approached funeral services provider Nirvana Memorial Garden, which embraced the idea and organised and sponsored the ceremony.

While some people were initially sceptical of the concept, Chay said those closest to her understood why it was meaningful.

During the ceremony, well-wishers first paid their respects to a flower altar with Chay's photography, while Chay waited behind the curtains to watch.

Then eulogies were delivered by longtime friend and director Garrick Wong, talk show host Ah Hao and other friends, who shared heartfelt memories and paid tribute to Chay's impact on their lives.

At the end, Chay came out from behind to give her own speech.

"It is a privilege to witness my own farewell ceremony," Chay said.

"I got to see people talking about me in their eulogy, and it was so heartwarming that people actually feel that way about me positively."

Encouraging conversations about afterlife planning

Beyond celebrating her life, Chay said she hoped the ceremony would encourage people to make arrangements for their end-of-life wishes and to have open conversations about death.

"The idea is to encourage people not to be afraid of death," she said.

“There is nothing taboo about afterlife planning. Only when you can deal with death, will you know how to properly live your life.”

She added that preparing for death, both physically and mentally, allows people to appreciate life more fully and live with fewer regrets.

After experiencing her own farewell ceremony, Chay said she now hopes to "live my life like it's my last day", embracing every moment and making the most of the time she has left.

Chay has also recently performed in a Chinese-language talk show, 人生终点站 (The Final Station of Life), which explored themes of life and death.

She also hosts a Facebook Live talk show on ghost stories, with one taking place this Thursday (Jul. 16).