M'sian parents call for empathy after woman who booked out restaurant refused to let son, 25, with non-verbal autism eat there

A Malaysian couple were left disappointed after a woman who had booked a Petaling Jaya restaurant for an event refused to let their 25-year-old son with non-verbal autism use any of its tables, even for a quick meal.

In an Instagram reel on Nov. 14, the family recounted their experience dealing with the customer at Matcha & Co. at The Curve shopping mall in Malaysia.

Speaking to Mothership, the man's father, Iman, 60, clarified that they were not turned away by the restaurant itself.

Instead, he said the restaurant's waitstaff had been accommodating when the family explained that they only wanted to order some food for their son, Adam, 25, to eat before leaving.

Iman said that by sharing his experience, he hoped more people would understand the invisible challenges that families raising children with profound autism face.

"Sometimes, what seems like a small exception or inconvenience to someone else can mean a world of difference to another family."

Restaurant regulars

Iman said the family were regulars at the establishment, and the waitstaff were familiar with Adam.

According to Iman, Adam was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) level three and is non-verbal.

The American Psychiatric Association categorises ASD into three levels of severity, with level three “requiring very substantial support”.

Individuals who have level three ASD have extreme difficulty coping with change, engage in restrictive or repetitive behaviours that interfere with functioning, and experience great distress when changing focus.

Iman explained that they had initially intended to order takeaway food for themselves, while allowing Adam to have his meal at the restaurant.

In the post's caption, Iman noted that "Adam doesn’t necessarily understand why something he has been looking forward to suddenly isn’t possible."

"And trying to explain it to him can sometimes lead to a meltdown."

Offered to sit outside

According to Iman, the family had offered to sit outside the restaurant and finish their meal by 7pm — as the woman had booked the restaurant from 7pm onwards.

The waiters at the restaurant agreed and prepared food for Adam.

As seen in the video, the table was outside the restaurant under a nearby staircase with heavy rain in the background.

However, Iman shared that the woman who had booked the whole restaurant for an event subsequently approached them and insisted that they could not use any of the tables, not even the one under the stairs.

Iman said the family explained that they only needed about 15 minutes for Adam to eat and would leave before the woman's event was supposed to start.

Despite their suggestions, the woman maintained that they could not use any of the tables.

Adam eventually had his dinner under the staircase and finished his meal at 6:42pm. The restaurant was still empty at that time, and the woman's guests had yet to arrive.

"Don't say you understand"

In the video, Adam's mother, Ida, said, "Don't say that you understand. You know, you wanna claim every table, so we have to position ourselves bawah tangga (under the stairs) just to feed him."

Adam's sister, Ara, went back to the restaurant to check on the event after the ordeal and noted that the restaurant was still largely empty at 7:07pm.

Iman told Mothership that restaurants are accommodating most of the time, but customers in these establishments are sometimes less understanding.

He added that he isn't looking for special treatment for Adam, but simply for some flexibility and understanding from others.

"I’m not sharing this to complain or to put anyone down.

I’m sharing this because I hope more people will understand that for families raising children with profound autism, even something as simple as going out for dinner can come with challenges that others may never see or experience."

The next day, the manager of the restaurant, who wasn't present at the time of the incident, reached out to the family and apologised for the inconvenience.

Concluding his post, Iman wrote: "A little empathy doesn’t cost us anything. But to someone who needs it, it can mean everything."

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A post shared by Adam’s Autism Family (@adamsautismfamily)