S'pore man, 100, planned own funeral before death to avoid troubling offspring

A flag-dancing performance with a performer carrying a 3.3m-long flag on his head.

A stilt team consisting of 12 to 15 people, with four of them dressing up as the main characters from the Chinese novel "Journey to the West": Tang Sanzang, Sun Wukong, Zhu Bajie, and Sha Wujing.

These are just two of the performances staged during the funeral send-off of Koh Min Chiang, who passed away peacefully at the age of 100 at a nursing home on Oct. 12, reported 8world News.

According to Koh's sixth daughter, her father shared with his 10 children that he would be planning his own funeral after his wife passed away a few years ago.

He also paid for the funeral expenses, which amounted to S$55,000, so as to free his children from the burden.

"He had always been such a good dad. He would even plan his own affairs so as not to create trouble for us," shared Koh's daughter.

Wanted a grand, dignified funeral

Koh's daughter shared that when planning for his funeral, Koh wanted something as grand and dignified as his wife's funeral, reported 8world.

This was because he believed that "while he came to this world with nothing, he did not want to take his leave empty-handed".

As such, Koh picked out the layout for his funeral hall and decided to hold his wake in accordance with Hokkien Taoist and Teochew rituals several years ago.

Koh also added a few more flower vehicles to his send-off compared to his wife's funeral, and he hoped his children and family members could enjoy a reunion meal together at his funeral hall.

Snippets of funeral

According to 8world, Koh entrusted his funeral to Xin An Funeral Services.

A director of the company, surnamed Chen (transliteration), characterised Koh's funeral as "the most impressive large-scale funeral" he had ever put together.

According to Chen, on Oct. 18, the day of Koh's funeral, a total of four flower vehicles were deployed, stretching over 100m along the road.

A famous singer also staged a performance on one of the vehicles.

Koh's family member pushed the hearse vehicle for 2km, which took them 45 minutes.

Chen shared candidly with 8world that it was "quite challenging" to ensure Koh's wishes for his funeral were fulfilled, as it was not easy to find the performers, such as the stilt team, and coordinate them.

However, Chen's efforts eventually paid off, as Koh's family understood that hosting Koh's funeral was "not an easy job", and they were "very satisfied" with how it turned out.

Koh gave his all to family

Koh's daughter told 8world that she and her siblings were grateful for their father, who had "given his all to his family".

One offspring he had taken extra care of over the years was his youngest son, who suffered from an intellectual disability, shared Koh's daughter.

"As my youngest brother could not live on his own, my father decided to work and earn money while our mother stayed at home to take care of him," she added.

According to Koh's daughter, Koh had worked as a driver for a foreign family, a cargo worker at a shipyard, and a cleaner after retiring from the shipyard.

He even became a karung guni (rag-and-bone man) at the advanced age of 70.

Koh & wife had loving relationship

Koh's daughter revealed that it was only until Koh's wife passed away that he stopped working, reported 8world.

She added that her parents "built a very close and affectionate relationship" that only came to an end with her mother's passing.

"Every time my father got off work, he would return home promptly and was never late. He was a good husband," recounted Koh's daughter.

Move to nursing home to reduce children's burden

After their mother passed away, the Koh siblings took over the responsibility of taking care of their youngest brother, according to 8world.

After Koh's youngest son moved in with one of his elder sisters, Koh had been living on his own, said his daughter.

However, later on, Koh was diagnosed with dementia, and his doctor advised him to stay with his family.

"As my younger sister was taking care of my youngest brother, my father decided to spend his silver years at a nursing home so as to reduce our burden," shared Koh's daughter.

According to her, Koh's decision was another example of him sacrificing for his family, as moving to a nursing home would mean giving up his freedom to go on walks, which was one of his hobbies.

Koh's ashes to be placed next to wife's & youngest son's tablets

When Koh's youngest son passed away due to a lung infection at the age of 47, his family decided not to break the heartbreaking news to Koh because they did not want to sadden him, 8world reported.

It was only until 2023, when the doctor told the family that Koh was nearing the end of his life, that they shared the news with him, recounted Koh's daughter.

"At the time, he was very calm and told us he already knew about it. However, after that conversation, our father was able to live for another two years with heaven's blessing. He should have no more regrets," she added.

Koh would be reuniting with his wife and youngest son, as the family would be placing his ashes next to their tablets, said Koh's daughter.

Top images via 8world