Firsthand: S’pore mum honours late son’s legacy with fashion show to give cancer patients ‘1 day of happiness’

"Everyone grieves in different ways," Ong Bee Yan tells me.

The 68-year-old fashion model, who goes by "Yan", lost her son, Chia Rong Liang to cancer last year.

He was 38.

Yet about a month after his funeral last September, Yan started preparing for the second edition of the fundraising event Fashion for Cancer (FFC), a brainchild of hers where cancer patients and survivors take to the runway as the unlikely models.

During our interview, Yan tells me about her own grieving process, and why she's going ahead with the show.

As we chatted, time and again I'd hear her voice crack, or see her reach for a tissue.

As the saying goes, "Time heals all wounds".

And she's still in the midst of that process.

The diagnosis and 'one day of happiness'

Yan's late son, known to friends and family as Rong, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer on Aug. 17, 2021.

The news came as a shock and gave Yan and her retiree husband, Richard Koh, a new priority — to spend as much time with him as possible.

For the next two years, they brought Rong for checkups and chemotherapy, and as Rong liked to eat and travel, they occasionally went for short trips as a family.

Cancer took a toll on Rong.

Yan said she saw her son go through a "rollercoaster of emotions" as a cancer patient — pain, confusion, frustration, anger.

She asked herself, "How can I make my son happy for one day and forget that he's got cancer?"

The answer to this came on a trip to Kyoto in January 2023 to celebrate Yan's birthday — where Rong spontaneously strutted down the streets of the city like a model.

"He was just enjoying himself and feeling very carefree," Yan said.

The lightbulb moment inspired her to start Fashion for Cancer to bring this sense of happiness to other cancer patients and survivors.

She also wanted to give Rong something to look forward to.

'He conquered cancer'

Rong was able to participate in the first run of FFC on Aug. 25, 2023, but just barely.

He was excited for the show but was "very very sick" in the weeks leading up to the show and had to be on pain medication the whole time, Yan recalled.

So sick in fact, that the day after the show, he had to be taken to hospital at 7:30am.

But he was able to make a runway appearance, and even flashed a Korean heart sign to the audience at one point.

To Yan, that moment was a poignant sign of defiance from her son against the condition wrecking his body.

"To me, he conquered cancer. It was something he looked forward to and he did it. He could have easily said 'Mum, I'm just too sick, I can't go on.' But he didn't, you see," Yan said.

The first run of FFC was a success, raising close to S$140,000 which was donated to the NCCS (National Cancer Centre Singapore) Cancer Fund.

The funds went towards funding cancer research and financial aid for cancer patients.

In total, 15 cancer patients and survivors walked the runway, many with smiles on their faces, Yan recalled.

"I think we achieved our objective of giving them that 'one day of happiness'," she added.

Died on his own terms

Despite the event ending on a high, Yan was brought back to reality by Rong's deteriorating condition.

The family opted not to continue with chemotherapy as Rong had already undergone multiple surgeries to remove tumours, and his body was at the point where he would throw up food and drink alike.

Instead, they went on one last trip to Japan where Rong made sure everyone else other than him enjoyed their meals.

Rong then spent his last day in his bed at home, drinking concoctions that friends by his side whipped up for him — while periodically getting the liquids flushed out of his system — and joking and laughing with them.

He passed away on Sep. 18, 2023, three weeks after FFC.

Yan was touched by the many who came forward to remember Rong at his wake, including friends from the film industry, ex-students and others from all walks of life.

In a eulogy on Instagram, she wrote that "it had been a difficult journey" but the last few months showed Rong's "fearlessness, resilience and strength".

He died happy and on his own terms, enjoying life the best he could with family and loved ones, she told me.

"And to me, that's victory already."

Everyone grieves in different ways

Despite her grief, Yan saw no reason not to continue with a second run of Fashion for Cancer.

"It's his legacy," she told me, pointing out that Rong would have wanted to be on future runways if he was still alive.

In the process of looking for sponsors and models for the event, however, the memory of her late son continued to tug at Yan's heart.

In the lead up to Mother's Day 2024, Yan recalled "frantically" searching for a past video that Rong had sent her to wish her a happy Mother's Day, so she could hear his voice again.

"I couldn't find it. I was so upset [that] I couldn't even eat. I was just crying and said 'Rong, please help me find it. Please, God, help me find it,'" she shared.

Thankfully, she did locate the clip.

And in a way, focusing on the event and keeping herself occupied was how she "redirected her grief", Yan admitted.

Asked for her advice for those going through a similar struggle, she said, "It's okay to not be okay."

"If you need support, go for it. Everyone grieves differently. To me, I think [Fashion for Cancer] is a calling. I do it because it's a way of me giving back and paying it forward."

Coming together in support

As Yan tells me about the volunteers and sponsors  — some of them social enterprises — that she's convinced to lend their support to this year's event, her voice gains strength, enthusiasm even.

This year, FFC will be held on Aug. 31 in a 400-capacity ballroom at The Westin Singapore, which is sponsoring the event. Last year, it was at an industrial space in Ubi.

25 models have agreed to walk the runway, in a show choreographed by local fashion designer and icon Daniel Boey.

The youngest is an eight-year-old boy who will be accompanied by his mother. The oldest is 63.

Singaporean singer-songwriter Nathan Hartono, along with local actress Ya Hui and singer-songwriter Joie Tan, will be performing at the ticketed event.

Attendees will receive a goodie bag worth more than S$400.

There are a number of fundraising initiatives in the lead-up to the show as well.

Local cafe The Social Space will be donating S$1 for every cold brew coffee sold, from Jul. 1 onwards.

Social enterprise Re-store will be partnering with FFC to co-design a bag inspired by Rong's favourite cross body bag, with the proceeds dedicated to cancer research, cancer patients and their families.

The design will be launched at Design Orchard on Jul. 26.

The short film "A Busman's Holiday", directed by Rong before his passing with the support of Income Insurance, will be screened for charity on his death anniversary on Sep. 18, 2024.

It is about an unlikely friendship between Rong, who stars as himself in the film, and a British expat, Doug, whom he met in a shared hospital ward during the pandemic.

It will be screened at Stella Beach Lounge at Changi Coast, a venue owned by a good friend of Rong, who will also be sponsoring the food and drinks as a way of giving back to Rong.

The FFC organisers are targeting to raise S$200,000 this year.

'I owe it to Rong'

What are the long term plans for the event? I asked Yan.

"I'm not young, I'm 68 years old," she admits wistfully.

But having experienced firsthand how expensive cancer treatments can be, Yan hopes the fundraiser can be run every year, if possible.

"And I think I owe it to Rong. He would have liked it," she added.

Fashion for Cancer 2024

Date: Aug. 31, 2024

Time: 4pm - 8pm

Tickets: S$189.70 on Eventbrite

Donations can also be sent in via Giving.sg

Top image courtesy of Ong Bee Yan