A no-holds-barred review: S$2 IKEA charcoal hotdog can't be eaten in 1 mouth

Ask not why IKEA made its hotdog black, but how it did it.

Belmont Lay | November 05, 2021, 05:38 PM

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IKEA Singapore launched the blackest hotdog bun on Nov. 1, 2021, and it will be on sale for a month.

It is about one face long. And can be held in both hands.

Contrary to expectations, the charcoal hotdog was not named schlongwilliedöng, as good Nordic sensibilities have prevailed.

Despite a modest attempt, the charcoal hotdog cannot be eaten in one mouth.

IKEA charcoal hotdog longer than regular hotdog

It can be assumed that it is not just a matter of perspective, as the charcoal hotdog appears much longer than the regular hotdog.

Based on IKEA's own marketing material, it is clear that the regular hotdog is shorter, albeit thicker-looking that goes for an egalitarian, affordable for all price of S$1.

The charcoal hotdog costs a princely sum of S$2, unless you have the IKEA Family member discount, where it is priced at a subsidised rate of S$1.50.

Exhibit A, regular IKEA hotdog clasped neatly in between a bun:

Exhibit B, charcoal IKEA hotdog clasped between a bun but with meat protruding from both ends:

What charcoal hotdog looks like in real life

In real life, it is apparent the marketing material had to lighten the colours to make the charcoal hotdog bun look brighter.

The charcoal hotdog is really dark. Even in the day time.

The cross-section of the charcoal hotdog bun shows it is just darkness through and through -- without any hint of charcoal taste.

Or cheese.

The oozy bits in the hotdog cross-section is cheese liquid coming out from the inside.

Verdict

Despite how it looks, the hotdog retained the classic refined taste of processed hotdog meat.

The bun served as a hotdog holder more than anything else.

Because it is really quite awkward just walking around holding a hotdog in one hand and eating it in public while trying not to make eye contact with anyone.

On TikTok, video makers have been having a field day showing them consuming darkness instead of darkness consuming them.

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Final thoughts? Once you go black, you won't go back. Because it is difficult to go back to IKEA to specially buy this charcoal hot dog again when you can get two regular hotdogs for S$2.

⭐⭐⭐ 3 out of 5 stars + 1 darkness █

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Top photos via Mothership.sg & peacesubtractone TikTok