IMHO: Dating apps have made it easier to meet new people, but harder to find love

It’s hard to find love on dating apps in Singapore, it really is.

It’s tiring enough having to swipe through hundreds of thousands of profiles with no end in sight.

What’s worse is when people don’t even initiate a conversation with you after being matched.

According to a 2019 survey, 51 per cent of Singaporean singles cited dating apps as the most preferred way for them to meet new people.

Despite the high usage of these apps, however, many singles, especially women, have similarly admitted to losing faith in finding love on these platforms.

And while dating apps have no doubt made it easier to ‘match’ new people, here are three of my top reasons why they might actually make it harder for one to find a lifelong partner.

1) It’s hard to find “real” or serious matches

In the formative years of 2013 to 2014 when dating apps were still relatively new in Singapore, they were at first stigmatised as untrustworthy online platforms filled with lecherous men and “desperados”.

The reputations of these dating apps were so dismal that people who met their partners on them used to lie or come up with alternative stories of how they got to know each other.

Gradually, as the years went by and the usage of dating apps became more popular, they soon became the norm for many singles looking to meet and mingle.

These days, many of the profiles I get matched with on other dating apps tend to tell me that they’re looking “for fun” or “for something casual”, and very rarely do I get matches who tell me that they’re looking for love, let alone a lifelong relationship.

And to be honest, can I really blame them?

Tinder isn’t exactly the first place you’d think of when finding a good Christian boyfriend to bring home to your parents.

Additionally, certain dating apps are full of dodgy profiles and unusually good-looking men who are exceptionally nice to you, begging the question if one is only destined to be matched with modelesque men if they are “fakes”.

2) Too many options make it hard to commit

In the same vein, dating apps often present users with hundreds of thousands of profiles, reasoning that more options would make it easier for one to find a suitable mate, especially if one just wants to “play the field”.

Contrarily however, the idea of choosing from so many options actually makes one less satisfied with the choices they have made, particularly when looking for a lifelong partner.

After all, why commit to one match when there are plenty of fish in the ocean?

Indeed, thousands of dating profiles have made it seem as if there will always be someone better looking, with a better job, or a better personality for us out there.

And when everyone is just trying to score the best match they can get, this can become a pretty exasperating “game” of sorts.

3) People are not upfront about their deal breakers

It’s safe to say that no one in the world is perfect.

Likewise, most (if not all) singles have preferences as well as deal breakers when it comes to dating and relationships.

Despite this, however, dating apps that actually give you an avenue to be upfront about your dating preferences or deal breakers are few and far between.

While a successful relationship is often based on things such as compatibility and similar values, one might not get a chance to meet a suitable partner as profiles tend to be matched based solely on traits like physical appearances.

Conversely, one might only realise too late into the dating process that their match is not compatible with them, because some of these preferences and deal breakers are not laid bare from the get-go.

This not only eats up time and effort for both parties, but can also be extremely disheartening for one to go on date after date, only to find out later on that your match is not the one for you.

And after spending close to two years on and off these apps, I’ve come to the (rather tired and weary) conclusion that my ideal dating app would be one that sorts profiles based on the following:

• Personality
• Family closeness
• Views on intimacy
• Religion
• What the other party is looking for

Find an ideal match with Lovenn

If, like me, you are frustrated with run-of-the-mill dating apps that do not meet your needs, consider signing up for Lovenn, the newest dating app on the market that is tailor-made to suit local dating preferences.

Essentially, what Lovenn does is provide singles with a platform to date honestly and be upfront with their expectations.

In fact, 99 per cent of Lovenn users are looking for a serious relationship and/or marriage.

Via a checklist provided to each individual, Lovenn helps to match you with profiles that fit your criteria and whose criteria you fit as well.

Some examples of these filters include:

• Personality
• Views on sex
• Body type
• Income level
• Work-life balance
• Exercise habits
• Family closeness
• Marital status

Having used the app for close to three weeks now, I personally found these filters super useful.

I could list down some of my must-haves and deal breakers before even matching a profile or speaking to them, sparing me both time and effort from incompatible matches or conversations:

Unlike other apps, I also did not have to swipe incessantly because Lovenn would automatically recommend me five to 10 of the most suitable profiles on a daily basis.

Another thing I really like about Lovenn is the fact that my friends can affirm me as a date by writing a testimonial on my profile, making for an interactive experience that is both unique and uplifting.

I can even see testimonials written by the friends of my matches, which further adds to all the fun and intrigue:

Once matched with a profile, I also get to view an exact breakdown of our compatibility score - which in turn saves a ton of time on unnecessary small talk, imo:

If all this talk has got you interested in signing up for Lovenn, you can use the promo code MS39 to get free premium tier membership (U.P. S$39) from now till June 1, 2021 (only valid for new sign-ups).

Don’t say we bo jio.

This sponsored article by Lovenn made this writer less resigned to being a single.

Top image via Airam Dato-on on Unsplash