US lady with S’pore-born mum specially organises Chinese banquet & tea ceremony for wedding

Beautiful.

Jane Zhang | December 11, 2019, 11:09 AM

It would be an understatement to say that weddings are considered a big deal in our current age, and many people put in incredible amounts of time, effort, and - of course - money into them.

There are also other issues to take into account, such as parents' wishes and preserving cultural heritage.

Wedding held in Hawaii

One Singaporean-American woman shared a heartwarming story about her wedding, including the thought and intention she had put into it, to Facebook group Subtle Asian Traits on Friday, Dec. 6.

Kristen Hubbard is a first-generation American whose parents are immigrants from Hong Kong and Singapore, while her husband is "Hawaiian mixed with different kinds of Asian and European."

Hubbard shared that she and her husband decided to hold their wedding in Hawaii as a way to honour his culture, and also because, well, it's Hawaii.

Hubbard included some photos of her wedding ceremony, which looked beautiful.

image of couple under tree Photo from Facebook via Kristen Hubbard

image of couple walking down the aisle Photo from Facebook via Kristen Hubbard

She also shared that her brother played the guitar and sang "Can't Help Falling in Love" as she walked down the aisle with her father, reminiscent of the memorable scene in Crazy Rich Asians.

However, Hubbard clarified in an edit of her post that she did not share her story to flaunt that she and her husband are crazy rich asians, as they are not.

Rather, she just wanted to post about her experience to share about the "deep familial love and immense gratitude in [her] heart" since she always enjoys reading about those types of stories in the group.

Chinese tea ceremony and banquet

However, Hubbard was unable to have much of her extended family present for the wedding, as the majority of them live in the New York area, where she grew up.

Thus, she and her husband had decided to hold a Chinese tea ceremony and banquet for her side of the family in New York after the wedding.

For Hubbard, it was important for her to honour her roots and her family by practicing these traditions, even though her family did not have any expectations for her to do so.

She shared that her parents were delighted to hear the decision, and they both jumped in to help make it a success; her mother immediately began "planning like a boss" while her father worked overtime in order to save up money.

This was typical of her parents, Hubbard wrote:

"Of course, they did the very most they could and beyond, just as they always would go the extra mile to provide more than enough for me and my brother throughout my life."

On the night of the banquet and tea ceremony, Hubbard said, there was love and joy all around, despite the language barriers. The evening was meaningful for everyone present, but particularly for her parents.

tea ceremony Photo from Facebook via Kristen Hubbard

tea ceremony Photo from Facebook via Kristen Hubbard

people taking selfie at banquet Photo from Facebook via Kristen Hubbard

Hubbard shared that her parents gifted both her and her husband beautiful gold jewellery that had been saved for years specifically for the occasion, even though it was not custom for the groom to be given jewellery.

On a more lighthearted note, Hubbard also added that her husband and uncle got into a good-natured kung fu fight.

kung fu Photo from Facebook via Kristen Hubbard

Hubbard's original post:

You can view the post (if you are part of the Subtle Asian Traits Facebook group) here.

Otherwise, here is what she wrote:

***EDIT: Wow, I’m overwhelmed by all your warm words, well wishes, and shared love. Thank you for this incredible positive energy. I felt like sharing my story because I myself have loved reading stories on family and roots here in this community. That's the stuff that makes me cry. The purpose of this post was to connect with people here—where we are brought together through shared experiences within our shared (or different) cultures in a very unique way. As we are not "crazy rich Asians" let alone rich Asians, I write this not to flaunt but to show appreciation with deep familial love and immense gratitude in my heart. If you’d like to continue following my husband and I on our journey feel free to connect on Instagram @kristenigma***

I just married the love of my life, and our wedding was more than I could’ve ever dreamed. I’m a first-generation mixed ABC, a daughter of (amazing) immigrant parents; my dad’s from Hong Kong and my mom’s from Singapore. I’m from New York and just relocated to the San Francisco Bay Area. I have a huge family, most of whom lives in New York and thus unfortunately couldn’t make it to my wedding all the way in Hawaii. My husband’s Hawaiian mixed with different kinds of Asian and European. We chose to have our wedding in Hawaii to honor his culture that we love and because, Hawaii. And I’m as obsessed with his (Hawaiian) culture as he is with my (Chinese) culture. Extremely. Since most of my huge family wouldn’t be with us, we decided to be with them by having a Chinese tea ceremony and banquet in New York following the wedding.

Honestly, we just didn’t know how we’d be able to afford what would essentially be two weddings. No one asked me for this. It was not expected of me as a first-generation ABC. It’s not common to follow this tradition anymore as my aunt and uncle were the last in my family to have a Chinese wedding banquet years ago and not any of my cousins before me. But I myself wanted it—to honor my roots and beloved family and greatest support system who’d sacrificed everything for all that I have today. My deep love for my culture and my family (and cheongsam) was louder. This may not seem like a big deal to you, but it meant so incredibly much to my family, and even more to my husband and I. When we told my parents about our decision they were absolutely thrilled. My mom began planning like a boss and my dad started working overtime to save up. Of course, they did the very most they could and beyond, just as they always would go the extra mile to provide more than enough for me and my brother throughout my life. My relatives were also real happy to be celebrating with us and in this way. The pure joy and love in the room that night broke down all possible language barriers. (But yes, my husband spoke Cantonese when addressing my family members during the tea ceremony!) You could see and feel how much the evening meant to everyone present, especially my parents. They gifted us with such beautiful gold jewelry that they had kept for years and years for this possible occasion. It's not even custom for the groom to receive any jewelry, but my mom gifted my husband with a vintage heart-shaped gold necklace from Singapore. This precious time in our lives was truly overflowing with blessings and we will forever cherish it. Enjoy some photos we had to share!

Some more details worth mentioning here on s.a.t.

1. At the wedding ceremony, my brother was on guitar and sang “Can’t Help Falling in Love” Kina Grannis/Crazy Rich Asians style as my dad walked me down the aisle to meet my groom.

2. At the Chinese wedding banquet, my uncle and my husband were literally kung fu fighting.

3. I did my own makeup for both events because ain’t nobody can do your monolid makeup except yourself, girl. Iykyk.

Top image via Facebook/Kristen Hubbard.