13 life problems only left-handed people understand
Lefties are a minority. Too.
Aug. 13 every year is International Left-Handers’ Day.
Fact: Some 10 percent of the population are southpaws, but much of the world is designed to cater to the right-handed majority.
Left-handers are probably the only minority group in the world that does not rise up in arms to protest our systematic marginalisation.
All in all, we are a cool bunch of people who learn to adapt to the world and move on with our lives.
But let us not forget these insidiously pro-right things in life that remind us very much of our left-handedness:
1. Trying to write on these damned things
Right-handers will never understand why our handwriting end up like mere squiggles when we have to play hand Taichi with the chalk/marker.
It’s either that or we smudge every single thing we’ve written half a second before.
2. These medieval torture devices
Starting a sentence has never been more painful with these ring-binded books.
The pain moves up your arm as your sentences get longer as well.
3. Thank the heavens for this nifty add-on
No more piping hot shell casings threatening to fry our eyes/ face with these shell deflectors.
Much like the rest of the world, rifle makers didn’t think soldiers would be left-handed when they were making guns.
4. When dressing up is a daily battle
While many lefties have learnt to adapt, the truly hardcore southpaws just do not have the finger dexterity in their right hand to work button flies.
Stop saying that we should use zippers instead.
Zip-up shirts don’t belong anywhere, and in case you didn’t know, the zippers on trousers are also designed for right-handers.
5. These insensitive cups
All we want is to drink our coffee with some dignity.
Preferably without pain.
6. Not making the cut
When the difference between an “A+” and “B” in Arts and Craft class lies in how neatly we can cut paper, we can always count on right-handed scissors to screw us over.
7. Fine dining hates you
While we can still eat our cakes reasonably well using this in our left hand, we would like to believe the existence of this knife serves to remind us of how different and awesome we are compared to the rest of the world.
8. The reason why our handwriting is a bit off
Licking, burning and smashing the tip just won’t get some pens to work for us.
What we did succeed in doing though, was to destroy the paper we were writing on.
9. When there’s only one way to use this thing — the right way
If any kitchen utensil could mock left-handers and give them the middle finger, the can opener would be it.
10. Contracting Silver Surfer Syndrome
And you discover that soap is next to useless when you’re trying to wash the graphite off.
Hands up those desperate enough to resort to using an eraser instead.
I know you failed miserably.
11. Having to learn how to give a proper handshake and high-five
Imagine your friend reeling back, right hand pulled back, ready to deliver a high-five to you.
You want to return it, and in the heat of the moment, you forgot that you’re left-handed.
You let your left hand fly. The high-five fails to happen. Awkwardness ensues.
12. When this guy’s left-handed
We were all rooting for Orlando to land that punch.
13. No worries, these lefties let us know we can do great things
And of course something local:
So, our prime minister is a minority, in some sense.