I’m a 12-year-old S’porean girl, & my parents are divorced. It really isn’t that big a deal.
Soft truths to keep Singapore from stalling.
Mothership and The Birthday Collective are in collaboration to share a selection of essays from the 2018 edition of The Birthday Book Jr.
The Birthday Book Jr is a collection of essays about Singapore by 54 children, mostly five to 13 year olds, from various walks of life.
By showcasing the diversity of young voices in Singapore, these essays also discuss our collective future as a nation.
An essay on the topic of divorce, contributed by 12-year-old Clare Lee, is reproduced here:
By Clare Lee
Most people think that kids with divorced parents grow up differently.
My parents are divorced.
Not all of us are messed up
People always feel that if your parents are divorced, your life must be messed up and you live different lives from other kids whose parents are not divorced.
Of course we do live different lives, but I do not think that it is fair to say all of us are messed up because of it.
“A week in the life of Clare” probably looks different from most kids.
For instance, when I am talking to my friends about my plans for the weekend, they get confused when I tell them that I will call them from my father’s house. I stay with him on weekends, and having to explain the situation can be troublesome.
I don’t know why people make a big fuss out of things
When people hear that my parents are divorced, they usually have big reactions like, “Are you okay?” or “You’re so open about this! How are you okay with this?”
Some friends feel that they need to give me pity, and it is this reaction that makes me feel weird and different.
To me, I am just a regular kid, and I do not know why people make a big fuss out of things.
While having divorced parents may not be the most ideal situation, we make the best out of it.
Ironically I think that I have a closer relationship with my parents now. I get to spend more quality time with my dad and mum individually.
I am also very fortunate that despite the divorce, my parents get along very well. It makes me happy that my parents do not fight.
I think that is one of the reasons why most kids from divorced families struggle is because their parents continue to fight, even after divorce.
The fact is, parents from regular families fight too.
Not “normal”, but still great
What I always try to do in my life is not dwell on things that I cannot control; I try to think about things to look forward to, or things that make me happy.
I look forward to chatting about my day on FaceTime with my dad every night and playing Roblox (an online game) with him on the weekends.
I also like going out with my mum to eat. She always knows the best restaurants wherever we go. We also talk a lot together about anything and everything and have the same interest in photography.
I think I have a great life even though it is not “normal” to someone on the outside.
Nobody has a perfect life and we cannot control what happens to us so let’s make the best out of what we have.
Top photo via Shutterstock.