Dating can be a nerve-wrecking affair, and this was so even in the past.

To make the process as painless and smooth-sailing as possible, many columns in newspapers and magazines have offered dating advice to the clueless and unattached.

From methods to score a date to the do's and don'ts of dating, old local newspapers were brimming with advice.

Here were some of the topics discussed.

Who should ask the other out?

This is a perennial matter with differing opinions. One shared a Malay saying, claiming that men should ask women out:

However, others were of the view that it does not matter. In fact, there are merits from making the first move:

How to score a date

Today, we have the help of various dating apps to meet new people and filter through potential mates. Without Tinder, the process could be a little more complicated.

In 1986, columnist Wong Sing Yeow suggested using a survey form to gauge one's chances in dating. By sending out a questionnaire, it "saves you from losing face if she should turn down your good offer."

The suggested template is as follows:

More importantly, the comprehensive list of questions also allows for one to find out more about their prospective date.

Questions might be related to what they look for in a partner, their views on hand-holding and where they would like to go on their first date:

This clinical approach to dating supposedly draws from scientific insights. However, the writer noted that after sending out 122 questionnaires, he still has not found a partner.

Yet the perceived benefits of form filling still remain. Earlier in 2017, this NUS student set up a Google form sign up sheet for girls to apply to go on dates with him.

If forms didn't work then, maybe it would work now.

Where to go on a date

If you have a date but are clueless on where to go, you can always count on others to give you some ideas.

In a Straits Times article published in 1987, some offered pretty typical suggestions such as Orchard Road or going to the beach:

However, one cautioned against dark places because it might lead to sexual desires:

Things women should not do

While there were general tips offered by various columnists on acceptable date behaviour and etiquette, writer B. L. Khoo dedicated one entire article to "the things about women which turn men right off."

The article, published in 1975, mentioned that dirty bra straps, platform shoes and heavy make-up were turn-offs.

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Other than matters of dress, the writer said that women should act like women, but "not too much". According to Khoo:

"Women who use foul language; who giggle incessantly; who’ve got squeaky voices; who are too bold and brassy; too timid and silly; women who don’t act like women; women who act too much like women.

It seems as though females who persist in behaving like females -- clinging and cloying -- and now turning off instead of turning on men with their helpless ways.”

It also seemed like women who were not interested (or did not pretend to be interested) in their partner's hobbies were likely to be dumped.

"The most effective way to do it is to knock his favourite sport of habit. Just yawn in the middle of a soccer match while he is cheering lustily; Or ask him to escort you to the loo at a crucial moment in a cricket match when he is all tensed…He’ll bowl you right out of his life."

Even though the article was published in 1975, some of these suggestions still surface in dating advice columns today.

In an article by Her World, women were advised against using heavy make-up during dates:

"Wearing too much makeup sends off the signal that you’re unhappy with how you look naturally, or you’re in need of all that slap, and it also gives a ‘she’ll take forever every day to get ready’ vibe."

Another article by Her World also offered a piece of advice that sounded strangely similar to Khoo's regarding the way women should behave:

"A lot of men tell me they don’t want to date ‘dragon women’ – but that doesn’t mean they go for submissive girls either. Most men respect intelligent, assertive women. What they don’t want is someone who belittles them and insists on being in control of the relationship all the time.”

Well, maybe some things have changed, but many dating problems remain the same.

 

Top photo from Pixabay & Newspaper SG.

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