Singtel replies as Eminem to comment by biggest fan Dan, becomes epic rap battle a la Stan

My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why.

Belmont Lay | December 05, 2016, 03:00 AM

Now that Singtel's broadband services have been resurrected, it's high time for some positivity.

And how else to brighten up the Black Weekend where the Internet died in Singapore than some epic rap battle?

One subscriber Marc Rai posted a comment on Singtel's Facebook page on Saturday, Dec. 4, the day the Internet died, with borrowed lyrics from Stan by Eminem, a song about a fan who didn't get a response and went off the rails.

And in case you cannot see it, here is what Marc commented borrowed from the first verse of Stan:

Dear #Singtel, I wrote you but still ain't callin'

I left my cell, my email, and my home phone at the bottom'

I sent two emails this afternoon, you must not-a got 'em

There probably was a problem at your mail server or somethin'

Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em

But anyways, f*** it, what's been up? Man how's your server?

My mobile data gettin f*** up too, I'm bout to get poor'

If I have a wifi, guess what I'm gonna do?

I'm a watch some youtube'

I read about your post this morning too I'm sorry

I had a friend that so pissed to you that will replace you soon

I know you probably hear this everyday, but before I'm your biggest fan

I even got the underground promo shit that you did with Seon-kang Joon

I got a room full of your promo posters and your pictures man

I like the shit you did with a 4GB promo too, that s*** was fat

Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,

Just to chat, truly yours, your upset fan

This is Dan

Pretty good stuff. But given the kind of weekend the Singtel team had, one would expect the usual mundane, corporate type of reply.

Until Nurul from Singtel decided to rhyme a few verses and reply as Eminem:

Here it is in case you can't see it:

Dear Dan,

We meant to write you sooner but we've just been busy

Replying to all the posts we received, since the wee mornin'

Look, we're really flattered that you're our biggest fan

We were workin' round the clock to fix this - best believe that

We're sorry 'bout your WiFi, and mobile data too

Don't think we would do that kinda thing just to hurt you

But what's this we see 'bout your friend replacing us?

Don't they know that we wanna make this friendship last? :(

We really think it's cool you got our posters round your room

And that you joined us for a lucky chance to meet with Seon-kang Joon

We hope you get to read this letter, we hope it reaches you in time

Though you couldn't YouTube, we hope that you were doin' just fine

Hope you'll relax a little - we get your frustrations here, man

But Dan, don't be mad, we hope you understand, we still want you as our fan :)

We know you've been callin', and for your emails - we'll get to them too

Please have a bit more patience and we'll reach out to you soon.

p/s: We did our best to match the original, though we wouldn't want any cars going off bridges :/ But Marc, our Fibre services have since been fully restored as per our Facebook page update. Please monitor your internet connection and if needed, try rebooting your modem and ONT sequentially with a 3-minute interval between each device. This helps to resynchronize the connection properly.

Thank you for your kind patience throughout this time. – Nurul


Suffice to say, the customer was satisfied with the level of customer service.

Somebody give Nurul a mic already.

But don't bother. She gonna drop it anyways.


Top photo adapted from here.

If you like what you read, follow us on Facebook and Twitter to get the latest updates.