10 ways Chinese weddings in S'pore are better in expectation than reality

Remember when weddings were fun? They usually were when we were kids.

Alden Tan| October 23, 03:48 PM

As a grown up, the thought of attending a wedding can be a dreadful one.

Ideas of gathering, having fun and even celebrating love get thrown out the window as reality gets in the way.

10 ways Chinese weddings in S'pore are better in expectation than reality

1) Expectation: Looking forward to this special event.

Your good friend is getting married! You absolutely cannot wait for the wedding to come as you get to see your friend off to his or her next phase in life. Love is awesome.

Reality: You feel the dread of the imminent event as you've to put aside your other plans just for this night. You also feel the pinch of giving that red packet. There goes $188 or whatever the market rate is now.

 

 2) Expectation: Special role as a Brother or Sister.

As one of Brothers or Sisters, you feel so special and honoured that you were chosen by the couple themselves. You're totally feeling the love man, and you are so happy for them!

Reality: You're tired as you have to wake up as early as 6am to prepare for the gate crashing.

And you have to deal with ridiculous rules. What is this weird ass pink, bow tie the bride insisted you put on?!

 

3) Expectation: Having fun and laughing away at the grate crashing

Hahaha! Damn those sisters! They're so creative in torturing the guys!

Reality: It dies off after 15 minutes, max. Eating wasabi is not cool (get it?). Consuming whatever vile concoction the girls made up is gross. Dancing is... eh.

Bro, just feed them the Ang Baos already.

 

4) Expectation: A united gathering of friends and family alike

So many people!

Reality: Barely anybody knows each other. Heck, the bride and groom don't even know who's that long-distance cousin from their god ma's side, or whatever.

 

5) Expectation: Nostalgic and loving presentation of how the couple met.

Aww... that was an awesome presentation. You can totally feel the love.

Reality: Nobody is watching the music video made on Windows Movie Maker.

 

6) Expectation: Meaningful speech by the couple

Words of wisdom right there. After all, it's the first day of their new journey.

Reality: Nobody is listening. In fact, the older relatives are busy chatting away loudly. They just don't give a hoot!

 

7) Expectation: Awesome emcee who hypes up the crowd

Damn! He totally nailed it with that opening joke.

Reality: He knows nobody is listening and is just trying to get it over with as fast as possible.

 

8) Expectation: Meaningful conversations at the table as you interact with one another

Reality: Depending on where you're seated, there's a chance you won't know who the hell you're seated with.

In fact, meaningful conversations be damn. You may feel down and depressed for being reminded on how single you are. Truly, you're not getting any younger.

 

9) Expectation: Everybody is enjoying the food

Reality: There will be this unspoken tension between those who eat the shark fins soup and those who do not.

 

10) Expectation: Superb after-party

Elderly folks, go home! Let us young ones party the night away and start the real drinking.

Reality: No. The wedding was held on a Sunday night. Better turn in early for work tomorrow!

 

Alden Tan is a writer who graduated from NUS and is now doing the whole "quit my job to follow a dream" thing as he blogs about honest and real stories. Check out his free book, 12 Things Happy People Don't Give a F**k About.

 

Top photo via i.am.leon Flickr

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