ST forum writer: I see younger unmarried people have sex, I cannot take it, must write letter

'The psychological damage of premarital sex can be a great obstacle to a healthy family life.'

Mandy How | June 22, 2017, 06:45 PM

The matter of premarital sex is highly polarising. Some are more accepting of the idea (not to say that they advocate it), while others strongly believe that it is a big no-no.

But the latter is especially true for a certain forum writer, who wants to empower the younger generation to say "no" to premarital sex.

Nothing wrong with that, of course. The biological and emotional consequence of sex usually requires a little more experience and maturity to handle.

However, this forum writer believes that sex these days is only about lust and emotions, and when people have sex without the security and commitment that come with marriage, the concept of families will be weakened.

She also believes that teen sexual activity should not be normalised, as they are not prepared for abortion or children born out of wedlock.

Here is her letter in full:

We live in a world where sex is now merely about lust and emotions (More young people get sexual infections, and Abuse, porn 'can push youth to early sex'; both published on June 18).

When sex is divorced from the security, commitment, communal support and procreational capacity found in the union of marriage, the family as the basic building block of society is weakened.

The impact of no-fault divorces on children cannot be under-estimated.

Without both parents working together for the common good of the family, we would raise a generation that is disillusioned with marriage.

It is no surprise that those who come from broken families or who suffered from abuse are more likely to have premarital sex.

Youngsters today question what they are being taught on sexuality. Abstinence before marriage seems to be an impossible option.

Movies, dramas, magazines, music and the arts teach them that having casual sex is a romantic experiment that has no consequences.

They are taught to arm themselves with condoms in case they want to have sexual experiments.

But condoms are not always a workable option when passions run high. They are also no guarantee against sexually transmitted diseases.

Our young deserve to be empowered with the knowledge and skills to say "no" to premarital sex.

To normalise teen sexual activity is to do a disservice to our young, who are not prepared for the consequences of premarital sex, such as abortion and children born out of wedlock.

The psychological damage of premarital sex can be a great obstacle to a healthy family life.

It is time parents and concerned adults step up and teach our young that sexual intimacy is not a validation of their self-worth.

Love waits, and so sex can be delayed until marriage.

Most Asian families would agree that the teenaged years might be on the young side for sexual activity, owing to the lack of judiciousness and on the more pragmatic side of things, self-sufficiency (financially or otherwise).

The media also tends to propagate an unrealistic and romanticised notions of sex, which may lead to ill-informed decisions.

But the rest of the writer's reasoning is not without flaws, especially when promoting abstinence.

The kinks: 

Our young deserve to be empowered with the knowledge and skills to say "no" to premarital sex.

The assumption that "knowledge" gained will lead to the younger generation rejecting premarital sex betrays a narrow mindset about what kind of "knowledge" should be passed down — one that is objectively dogmatic and one-sided.

To normalise teen sexual activity is to do a disservice to our young, who are not prepared for the consequences of premarital sex, such as abortion and children born out of wedlock.

The consequence of sex — premarital or not — is a potential pregnancy, not abortion.

It is also unlikely that a married adult (or anyone else, really) would actually be prepared for an abortion.

It is time parents and concerned adults step up and teach our young that sexual intimacy is not a validation of their self-worth.

The fact that sexual intimacy is not a validation of self-worth is not mutually exclusive with the possibility of engaging in a healthy sexual relationship before marriage.

Furthermore, sexual education is important not only specifically with regard to premarital sex, but also in making informed decisions for family planning, a subject the forum letter writer is ostensibly concerned about.

To shy away from discussing matters of sexuality or to reject it absolutely does not solve the problem of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) or unwanted pregnancies.

As it is, many readers are discussing the merits of teaching abstinence and chastity, among other things:

 

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Top image from Pixabay.

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