Carouseller makes best ever case for why he deserves Coldplay tickets

Best Carousell listing ever.

Nyi Nyi Thet | November 22, 2016, 12:01 PM

Coldplay tickets are currently one of the most sought-after things in Singapore.

The latest round saw 40,000 tickets being snapped up in 90 minutes.

Some have taken to extraordinary measures to procure it.

One of those looking for a ticket is Carouseller Wandy19.

This is his impassioned plea on Carousell explaining why he should get the tickets:

coldplay-carouseller

 

First, he explained why he couldn't get it.

I was a bit late to purchase it because i malay ah, everything late one.

 

Next, he offered his blessings to the kind soul who would sell him the ticket.

I'll fix you by buying it from you. I'm a huge fan dude, so please sell it to me at a reasonable price. You gain, i gain. No good deed will be unnoticed by God.

 

And the God he evoked was the God of Gods, Zeus.

May Zeus return you the favor of heaven and may he protect you from hades.

Damn hipster.

 

But, he finally revealed his true intentions for getting the tickets.

I got no girlfriend ah, I'm going with a buddy of mine who loves coldplay too. He's getting married next year so this might be our last time to enjoy the music we love together.

You know ah after married, we men cannot go concert all, especially if we malay. Confirm wife say 'eh bodoh, go ceramah better than concert. Later in hell, the screams of sins are the music you listen to'.

Buddies till the end.

 

Here is his entire post, we strongly recommend reading it all, because it is in every sense of the word, amazing.

Hello, if you're looking to sell your Coldplay tickets then i wanna buy them.

I wanted to buy two tickets but ya'll knnccb buy then wanna resell to earn more money but as Chris Martin said in the scientist, 'nobody said it was easy'. I played that song while at work when it was announced that tickets were sold out.

I was a bit late to purchase it because i malay ah, everything late one. I'll fix you by buying it from you. I'm a huge fan dude, so please sell it to me at a reasonable price.

You gain, i gain. No good deed will be unnoticed by God. If you sell it to me, I'll pray for your well-being everyday with good health & good wealth.

May Zeus return you the favor of heaven and may he protect you from hades. May the gods of gods grant you your wishes after you sell the tickets to me.

I'll pray for you to keep you away from satans like John did. John 17:15 "I do not ask You to take them out of the world, but to keep them from the evil one."

I got no girlfriend ah, I'm going with a buddy of mine who loves coldplay too. He's getting married next year so this might be our last time to enjoy the music we love together.

You know ah after married, we men cannot go concert all, especially if we malay. Confirm wife say 'eh bodoh, go ceramah better than concert. Later in hell, the screams of sins are the music you listen to'.

Yo, I'm writing a freaking paragraph to plead you to sell it to me at a good price, if this isn't good enough of a plead then at least I tried, 'No one ever said it would be this hard'.

I just need two tickets bro. Cat 3/6 preferred, oh yeah & receipt please for authentication.

(If your gf/bf suddenly paitau you a day before the concert, no worries I'll buy from you too. Just know that if he/she paitau you on coldplay, he/she ain't worth it bro).

We sincerely hope he gets it. Zeus knows, he deserves it.

 

All photos from Carousell

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