1. The (Tinder) Playa

If haters gonna hate, then potatoes gonna potate and surely playas gonna play.

Doesn’t make sense? Whatever. Common sense is not in his book of pick up lines, speaking of which, here’s his favourite:

“Is your name Wifi? Because I feel a connection!”

Well, partly because he needs WiFi connection so he can go on Tinder, Grindr, Whatsapp and Snapchat (to save on his data plan). Sometimes, he’ll even use good ol’ text messages or call – if his target is the old-fashioned type.

2. The Shin Min Daily Uncle

Cigarette box tucked snugly like an epaulette and a rolled up newspaper jutting out from the back pocket of his uncle-length berms, the SMD uncle is a fixture at a kopitiam near you.

You will also likely see him peering intently at his phone and from across the table, you can probably see in extra large fonts on his screen that the latest lottery results are out.

Legend has it that he had struck gold three times in a lunar year. But nobody talks about the other legend: his total losses are enough to make him a comfortable retiree. Because defeat is an orphan.

3. The Wolf of Raffles Place

His accessories? A venti-sized Starbucks every morning, tailored shirts with collars lined with floral prints and only the very latest mobile phone to hit the market.

And he is constantly on his phone spewing out numbers so large you’d think he’s talking about stars in the universe.

You have mixed feelings about the Wolf of Raffles Place. On the one hand, you wish all your shirts were tailored. On the other, that collar cannot make it.

But you’ll take his phone and that premium mobile plan his company has paid for him. Coz no need to worry about busting your data and talktime liao.

4. The Poly Kid

17 and fresh out of secondary school, the poly kid wants to be his own man. No more uniforms, screw timetables, say hello to actually edible canteen food.

He enjoys following the chiobu on Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat (Facebook is old people lor).

So what does one do when time is on his side but money isn’t? Hang out at the canteen and people watch lor.

5. The Mobile Gamer

To this dude, the phone is an excuse to bring his game addiction outside. He’s the most likely to crash into a lamp post and survive the toughest level of Color Switch.

Other than his three 20,000mAh power banks and spare tablet for Summoners War, his most prized possession is his big fat data. Comes in handy when he needs to hatch a 10km Pokemon egg.

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Don’t recognise yourself above (don’t bluff)? Truth is, most of us can’t live without our mobile phones these days but we all have different mobile needs.

Instead of swiping right looking for your next Tinder match, why not take some time out to search for your perfect mobile plan match?

Like this chio Singtel Easy Mobile plan that lets you tweak your talk time, SMS and data bundle - exactly how you like it every month. Imagine all that zhng-ing you can do to the plan - just don’t walk into a lamp post while doing it.

Unless you are the Wolf of Raffles Place. Then you get your ka kiah to do it for you.

If a bro-type exists, there will be one for the ladies too:

5 types of female handphone addicts that will make you go “Wait ah, that’s … me.”

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This post helps fuel Mothership’s writers who are no wolves of anything but can wolf down lots of food as quickly as they consume data.