5 things I wish someone had told me before enlisting for NS

It's not easy but it's not the end of the world.

Goh Wei Hao| September 19, 12:35 PM

It has almost been a year since I've entered the Army.

One year may not sound like a long time to many, but to someone who is averse to exercising, hates getting dirty and craves freedom, it is almost a lifetime.

So much has changed since then. Today, I am a different person than when I first enlisted: Physically, I've become much skinnier, losing 12 kg (and counting) but more importantly, I'm a much happier person now because I have come to accept and embrace the army.

Mind you, this change was not an easy one; it took a lot of denials, reflections and epiphanies - both small and big. I would definitely have come to realise it earlier if someone had given me these five pieces of advice before I enlisted.

Disclaimer: I do not profess to being an expert on the Army, that is why my advice will definitely not be one size fits all. If you enjoy leading, excelling and overcoming, then chances are, you will not be able to relate to what I have to say. However, if the two-year stint is as arduous yet ironically menial for you as it is for me, then I hope you'd be able to find some comfort in my words.

1. Don't compare

army bmt Source: Basic Military Training Centre Facebook

The biggest trap you can set for yourself, is to compare because if you looked hard enough, there will always be someone who has a (relatively) better life in the Army than you.

Sure, compared to my friends in the Infantry who have to go for outfield almost every week, I am much luckier to be in a combat support unit. However, I am not as blessed as my friends in the Air Force who do not have to do guard duty or the clerks and armskote men who get to go home everyday.

And, what about the people who are on light duties and get to rest in their bunks while I toil in the hot sun? Isn't it stupid for me not to geng (malinger) and visit the Medical Officer (doctor) too?

Trust me, there will never be an end to self-pitying thoughts like this and honestly, the army is tough for everyone, no matter how "slack" their vocations may seem to be.

So, stop victimising yourself and learn to be happy for your friends that have it better than you. We often forget that National Service (NS) will end after two years (at least till your next In-Camp Training or unless you sign on lah).

Hence, learn to live and let live.

2. Continue to pursue your passion

There will be days in the army where you will have absolutely nothing to do and you'd be tempted to just sleep.

Don't.

Instead, use it to do something you love.

Do not let yourself be restricted by the fact that you have to stay in camp almost everyday or that there is no WiFi (Yes, to us millennial soldiers, this is a big handicap). I know of people who studied for their SATs and even their As while serving, and people who managed to conceptualise their own business ideas.

For me, I found writing. (Warning: I am going to sound super dramatic, so please, bear with me.) My words hold my sanity because it is my creative output and it serves as a form of catharsis. It also gives my life meaning because it is what I am passionate about; so I feel especially fulfilled on days that I write.

Everyone needs an outlet like this, if not NS will soon become a chore because you have nothing to distract you from how repetitive and monotonous it is. And that is when thoughts like: "I could be doing something more important with my life," will start to set in.

You do have that choice of making these two years meaningful by taking time out to do things you love (which sadly, does not include non-stop clubbing) and to improve yourself.

3. Do not shut the people you love out

army letters Source: Singapore Army Facebook

A few months in, I stopped complaining to my friends and family about my life in the army. This is not because it had gotten easier - it has not. Instead, I was just sick of been patronised with replies like: "Two years will pass very quickly one lah!" or God forbid, "Your friend/cousin/brother could do it, why can't you?"

I started becoming (irrationally) angry at them for not bothering to try and understand what I was going through despite knowing what a hard time I was having.

However, the truth of the matter is, nobody will ever get it. It is not because they do not care, but simply because everyone is different and grief is so very very personal; that is why no two people - even if they are in the exact same platoon - will have the same experience in the Army.

So, do not fault your loved ones and shut them out because you will end up hurting not just them but also yourself.

That's like denying them the chance to care about someone they love and yourself from the comfort of your greatest pillars of support.

4. Don't forget your worth

Your performance in army does not determine your performance in life.

Sounds obvious, but it is something we often forget, because there seems to be no end to these two years so NS starts to look as if it will be the rest of our lives.

That is why, we end up judging ourselves too harshly when we do not do well in the army, like when we are not able to get into command school or if you do not get that gold for IPPT.

However, the truth is, it's okay to be bad at soldiering. Like how some people are more musically inclined than others, it is also natural that not everyone is a good solider.

Forgive yourself if you don't do well in the army and never stop reminding yourself of the other things, outside of NS, that you're good at.

5. It gets better

army pop Source: Basic Military Training Centre Facebook

It is embarrassing to admit but early this year, I started visiting a counsellor because I got really depressed - I woke up every day feeling hopeless and nothing seemed to be able to make me happy anymore (and yes, that included booking out).

I am thankful I sought help because my counsellor gave me the best advice ever: it gets better.

Of course, she wasn't that blatant, instead, she made me realise it myself. She asked me to share with her about my life before and after the army; talking to her got me really really excited about what I used to do – like interning at a newspaper – and what I am about to do - like my impending university education .

Then, she made me realise something even more important: that nothing has changed. The only difference, she said, is that my vision is now clouded by a dark cloud called NS. Because, the fact remains that once my two years are up, I will be able to pursue my own hopes and dreams again.

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I am not going to pretend to be magnanimous because honestly, I still really dislike the army. That is why I am going continue shunning responsibilities and doing the bare minimum while praying everyday that my days will be as uneventful as possible so that I have more time to write; however, I will be able to do this with a smile on my face now because I have learnt to be at peace with my life in the army.

 

Top photo from Basic Military Training Centre Facebook

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