5 valuable lessons we learnt from the 50BBQ event

Barbie is not a doll.

Mothership| July 02, 02:21 PM

So an Australian barbecue event offering free food to Singaporeans happened on June 28 and caused some eyebrows to be raised.

Like all Singaporean soldiers will tell you, an AAR (After-action Review) is vital because there are always new things to learn so that the next mission event will be perfect.

 

1. Do not assume

As the wise men - or your platoon sergeant - would probably say, assumption is the mother of all screw-ups. It is, therefore, not very wise to simply assume.

Haven't we seen this before?

assume Source: Flickr

With regard to the 50BBQ event, it is probably wise to check with the community centres and your neighbours (where's the kampung spirit, guys?!) whether the BBQ is ticketed or not, given that anything free would probably incite a riot in Singapore (see point 5). Free food? It's gonna be a mosh pit. Plus given our love for law and order and queues, it is a serious mistake to think that one could just sashay in and ask for free steaks.

Come to think of it, it was a good move to issue tickets. The only bad thing? Disseminating the information through “online channels” and notice boards even if it did have a three-week advance notice.

50BBQ

50BBQ2

Like why would Singaporeans even "like" their constituencies' Facebook page?

Anyway, next time there's something free, be sure to become Kevin Spacey.

kevin spacey Source: Giphy

Because if we want to be gian png (hokkien for hungry for rice) we also need to do our due diligence.

 

2. Almost every little thing is a spat nowadays

Consider this headline by Sydney Morning Herald.

Screen Shot 2015-07-01 at 4.42.34 pm Click on picture to read article.

It is with an heavy heart to inform you, our dear readers, that every thing is considered a spat now, which, in any case, is fine because according to Oxford Dictionaries, a spat is a quarrel about an unimportant matter.

Screen Shot 2015-07-01 at 4.48.45 pm

In that case, we stand corrected. Sydney Morning Herald, your usage of "spat" is correct and to the point. We shouldn't have spat on you guys like this.

Also, we don’t know what to think about Singaporeans slamming Singaporeans in the comments of the article. Team spirit, much?

 

3. We have zero /very low/ low tolerance 

Why you never inform us about the tickets? How come I cannot have a second round? Is the event reserved for PA cronies? Why you never tell me what type of meat I can expect at the event? Is it mushroom or black pepper sauce?

YOU BETTER COME CLEAN.

While we bay for blood, we tend to block out happy images like the pioneer generation having their fill.

moulmein bbq Source

moulmein bbq 3 Source

radin mas bbq Source

We, part of the gian png generation, are blinded by a false sense of justice, while real justice — in the form of BBQ meats — was meted out to the pioneer generation.

 

4. Barbie is not a doll

barbie Source: Youtube

If you hear an angmoh saying: "I'll slip an extra shrimp on the barbie for you", he's probably Australian because our mates from Down Under call barbecue "barbie".

No, they don't like to put shrimps on a doll. G'donya if you think they do, mate.

 

5. One does not simply dangle free food in front of Singaporeans...

For we will go crazy.

Probably the most important lesson of all, don't ever tempt gian png Singaporeans with the notion of free food. We are unabashed about it. We love free things: free tissue paper (You never know when you need more tissue for a big one in the loo), free newspaper (We don't even read Today/MyPaper but hey, it's good for cat litter), free hugs (Free body contact with a hunk/babe? Why the heck not.)

Free food?

ape shit

True story.

 

Top photo from here.