7 boliao things you can do during NS/ICT to make you feel like a pseudo-badass

Because that's what happens when you have a lot of 'admin' time.

Jonathan Lim| May 11, 06:21 PM

NS is two years worth of waiting around for things to happen; and what better way to kill time than to live like a pseudo-badass to spice things up? Same goes for ICT.

Nothing is more fun than living by the secret SAF Core Value - you can do anything, just don't get caught.

So here are 7 boliao things you can do to feel very garang even for the crappiest of reasons:

 

1. Water parade badass

You do so by drinking more than you're supposed to when your sergeant says 'Half-water bottle drink up!'

Adapted from here Adapted from here

So rebellious. The more badass soldiers will drink less than half and challenge themselves to not spill any when they tilt their water bottles.

 

2. 5BX badass

How do you feel badass during warm ups? It's not by doing the warm ups intensively, you'll just feel very wayang.

Here's the secret:

During 5BX warm up, when the instructor asks everyone to breathe in, you breathe out instead.

Zai.

breathing

 

3. Swimming pool badass

Can't get enough of the swimming pool during aqua-jogging sessions? No problem.

Adapted from here Adapted from here

If you are one of those who already know how to swim, just declare that you do not. That way, you can enjoy the cool pool water during swimming lessons while the rest of your platoon mates are doing area cleaning back at the company line.

 

4. Grenade throwing badass

When most people are worried that their palms would be too sweaty, or that they would drop the grenade into the grenade bay, the pseudo-badass only has one thing on his mind - How to make his life more exciting without endangering anyone.

Safety pin twist! Safety pin pull! Safety pin out! Then you throw the grenade AND the safety pin together. So idiotically badass. At most, you'll be confined for one weekend.

This is a negative demonstration on how to be a bo liao badass. This is a negative demonstration on how to be a bo liao badass.

 

5. Smoking badass

Smoking secretly in the bunk or toilet is just plain bad form. You stink up the place for your non-smoking bros.

The badass smoker will find the yellow box, then stand right outside the box and light up. So hiong.

Source Source

 

6. Army fashion badass

elastic-garters Source

By now you would think that a badass will be going around in their No. 4s without garters and stuffing their pants into the boots right?

That's not badass. That's plain sloppy.

The real badass will replace their standard army garters with these:

Source Source

Another badass stunt to pull is to wear your home t-shirt under your No. 4. Just don't wear non-green t-shirts, enciks can spot that a mile away.

We suggest this one:

Source Source

 

7. Guard duty badass

To really feel like a hero, you will do a full security check on your CO as he drives his car in. Pat him down, make sure he does not have a second mobile phone with a camera function. If your camp has bomb-sniffing dogs, use them as well.

Best thing is, your CO will commend you for being very garang and responsible.

 

Top photo adapted from Cyber Pioneer's Facebook post