Although it might sound narcissistic to talk about how to make a relationship work from the lady's perspective, the overarching idea is about how to make a couple a better pairing.

Here's what I think:

1. Respect me by spending quality time together, not money

Therefore, top on my list: Respect me by spending time with me. Both parties should always value the time spent together.

Being both busy persons studying in university and with me juggling part-time work, time does not come easy to my partner and me. That leaves us with no room for anti-social acts such as surfing the net or playing games while we're together as this means neglecting the other party.

Valuing our time together is also a sign of respect to show that we appreciate each other's company. I find it ridiculous to see couples fiddling with their phones on dates when the time should be spent in each other's company and having conversations instead.

2. Learn to enjoy what I do

Being able to compromise is a non-negotiating factor in every relationship.

We need to be able to accommodate each other's varying interests, and be willing to appreciate the other person's hobbies and interests instead of sulking the entire time your partner is engaging in them.

Imagine how hurt your partner will feel if, instead of being interested, you go about doing your own business while you both watch his favourite soccer team play.

Hence, he would have to treat me like how he wishes to be treated.

Learning and engaging in each other's interests is also great bonding opportunity. You may both enjoy the activity so much you end up making it a thing the two of you always do together.

One thing he's picked up from me is my adventurous streak. Photo walks have become our thing.

We would explore Singapore off the beaten track together. When we have time these days, we'd grab our cameras, durable shoes and mosquito repellents, and start trotting down abandoned railway tracks or going outdoors.

Some of our trips are documented here.

3. Give me my personal space

Being a somewhat independent soul, I value my personal space.

That means my significant other should not pry into every single activity and detail in my life, leaving me space for personal commitments such as writing, exercising and hanging out with my friends.

It is also about trust. I will leave him to his own devices and I can expect the same.

I would never, ever be with someone who expects me to do everything with him and run the risk of losing my friends.

Of course, there is a fine line between expressing concern and downright neglect. If he stops asking about my day and we can go for days without talking to each other, it is time I do something about our relationship.

4. Surprise me with little gestures of affection

Little gestures of love go a long way. It does not have to be anything fancy.

For instance, helping with my bags when I'm overwhelmed, pushing my hair out of my face, waiting for me to end work/ school to head home together or putting his arm around me when I least expect it.

All of these make me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

After being together with your partner for years, sometimes these acts remind you again about why you fell in love with him in the first place.

5. Treat me like I matter

I know he's The One when he thinks of me even while we are apart.

Such as when he comes back from overseas trips and gets me souvenirs that I can actually use or wear, instead of random trinkets.

Or like when he sends me a text out of the blue asking how my day went. Or when he presents me my favourite treat knowing I had a tough day at school. These show that he is definitely a keeper.

Basically, I would like to be treated like I matter. I feel important to him when he asks for my opinion when he is making important decisions, even when the decisions do not necessarily impact me.

Or when he invites me to attend one of his extended family gatherings to meet with his cousins and relatives (even when it's not CNY).

These gestures show me that I matter to him and that he is serious about us. He provides me with the security that every girl needs and the assurance that I can count on him and invest my time and effort in him.

I’m not a love guru, but if I may provide a word of advice: Treasure what you have before it’s gone.

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