Oh what a year.

2014 gave our seemingly dull, humid existence some of the most memorable villains in living memory. Mothership.sg took the liberty and wondered what these antagonists might wish for for the coming year.

Jover Chew

Arguably the villain of the year, Jover Chew was thrust into the spotlight with his coin-giving antics and how he made a Vietnamese tourist begged for a refund on his knees. Single-handedly gave Singapore tourism a bad name.

New Year's resolution: Stop shooting videos. And stop using coins. And stop giving out warranties. And lose some weight. And clear my old stock.

Don't know if I fan tai sui (offended the Gods) this year or what. Damn suay (unlucky). My shop Mobile Air kenna raided by mata (police). I know my style a bit Ah Beng. Sorry lor. I apologise. You know, I still have leftover pizzas at my place (Very funny hor, SMRT Ltd Feedback). My BMI also shot up to unhealthy range. So for 2015, I hope I can lose some weight. But that's not the most important thing; I really want to turn over a new leaf (like how so many of my customers change their phone covers). So I will stop my warranty business, clear some old stock and hopefully my new business can fly like how my iPhone 6s flew off the shelves (wah, my England actually not bad).

Ti kong po pi (help me God), my coin changing business will do well.

Anton Casey

The Briton caused a major brouhaha with his insensitive comments about Singaporeans and "the stench of public transport". He was later sacked and absconded to Perth with his beauty queen wife and son in tow.

New Year's resolution: To volunteer as a crowd controller at train stations.

Fellow occupants of lovely Singapore, by now you must have read about my very public indiscretion. It's a moment of folly from me and I won't apologise via a PR firm again. The next time I commit a faux pas, you can be certain that I will hold a press conference at Newton Hawker Centre (I heard expats there are more forgiving and looking at how my fellow countryman, Gordon Ramsey, fared there. I might stand a good chance).

I digress.

My New Year resolution - to prove I'm utterly fine with the stench of public transport - is to volunteer as a crowd controller at the busiest train stations during morning peak hours. If need be, I will ask my stunning, beautiful wife and my son to join me. Now, can I have my life back?

Sports Hub Private Limited

If the Sports Hub has no pitch, then Sports Hub Private Limited would have scored a perfect ten. The much-criticised pitch was (and still is) the butt of jokes.

New Year's resolution: To grow the correct type of grass the first time round.

Dear stakeholders,

1. The board has returned after a month-long grass survey at the vacant fields around the island and decided that natural grass will be laid over the hybrid pitch in order to prepare for the spectacle that is the SEA Games 2015.

2. Esteemed board members also consulted the public using an exclusive "scoop" for Today. The reaction from the public showed that the initial proposal of tearing out the $800,000 hybrid pitch and replacing it with artificial turf was as immensely unpopular as Bernd Stange as Lions coach.

3. For FY2015, Sports Hub wish for better decision making and getting things right from the start. And stop all employees from moonlighting. Thank you.

Yang Yin

The 40-year-old Chinese national, who has been in the spotlight having been accused of taking advantage of an elderly Singaporean widow to gain access to millions of dollars of her wealth, is in hot water. He now faces 349 charges.

New Year's resolution: To extend my service as a grassroot leader.

(Loosely translated) I really tried very hard. Really tried very hard to act like a Singaporean. Even when I got charged for falsifying receipts, I tried to write it as Singlish as possible. Even when I turned up at the Court, I wore a Survivor Singapore T-shirt. But it didn't help as I was slapped with more charges. Where is the justice?

My New Year resolution is to continue serving as a grassroot leader. That's my best chance to understand Singapore's culture. But I can't get hold of my MP, Dr Intan Azura Mokhtar. Last I heard, she was Internet hiding? What's that?

Lim Chin

The S-League boss was public enemy numero uno for many footballers for the league's decision to limit clubs to only five players over the age of 30 in a 22-man squad, while three players will have to be aged 25 or under. However, the decision has since been rescinded.

New Year's resolution: To become a member of TAFEP.

Ahmad Latiff, if you want to talk... Apologies, I thought you are Ahmad Latiff.

Like we said, every proposal, popular or unpopular, there will be pros and cons. That is why The S-League has started a U-turn policy. Not happy? U-turn. Unpopular decision? U-turn. It's very simple now.

See, the ageist decision was swiftly U-turned. Such lightning quick footwork. Even Ahmad Latiff cannot do it. You know why? Because he's 36. Oh did I make an ageist comment? Sorry! U-turn.

For 2015, I'm gunning to be a board member of TAFEP, just to prove that S-League is a fair employer. Hopefully by 2016, I will become TAFEP boss and I can U-turn the U-turned ageist decision.

You just wait.

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