So Christmas is around the corner! And although only 18.3% of the population in Singapore subscribe to the Christian faith, it’s a festival celebrated by the whole island. Why? Because all of us subscribe to cable, internet and belief that Christmas is all about shopping and exchanging presents. Ahhh! The comforting smell of commercialism in the air.

Anyway, I know you guys probably don’t know what to get your fellow Singaporean friends. It’s hard to get something quirky and creative these days, what with everyone trying pouring over sites like Etsy to get the coolest, most hipster present for all their friends. But no worries. Jac is here to help with some “Uniquely Singapore” gifts which you can present your friends with.

#1 Epigram Notbooks

So you know what’s so good about these? There are cool statements across the front which make it seem like a lot of thought went into choosing this gift when actually you just bought whatever your cursor stopped at. But if you are wondering, they come in 30 different statements and colours for you to choose from. Just in case you want to put that bit of extra thought into your gift. But really, who has time for that?

However, if you happen to be kiasu Singaporean, you can just buy one in every colour I guess. I really wanted to get this cool purple one for myself.

Then I realised, who am I kidding? I am perfect.

Get Epigram Notbooks here at $9.90 each.

#2 Bad Pencils x Bad Nails

I will now proceed to sell you the idea of this wonderful GoodStuph x Gummi Nails collection using all the words found on the nail wraps and the pencils.

KNNCCB, don’t f**k spider already la. I tell you buy this one, don’t come LPPL and find some more can? KNN, this is like, damn good shit lor pls. You don’t chao keng maximus and anyhow buy can. Later your gf not happy then you hong kan liao. If you tio kan by her don’t say I never warn you. I好人干好事, 好人有好报one ok.

$35. Available here.

#3 $INGLI$H Notebook

Because everyone likes to receive things that they would never buy for themselves. This book is awesome. It teaches you the correct pronunciation of for.a.zum.per, and provides you with ample space to not write anything on because it would destroy the sanctity of the book. What?! Would you write in this hardcover notebook with gold hot-stamping on the cover?

Available at Books Actually at $32. But sold out online. And there’s only one expression that can be used to describe that.

#4 Kampong Kards

Because nothing says “I love you” like a handwritten card. I think. I don’t know. I just made that up. But you’re kiasu enough to buy a Christmas card in advance rather than choosing one of the leftovers off the shelf on Christmas eve, then maybe you can consider one of these. Surely you will get an A+ from your friends who will be impressed by your card-selection skills.

Available at these locations at $6 each.

#5 Fancy Gem Biscuit Earrings and Ring

So everyone knows that getting girls jewellery is almost always a sure-win thing. Unless your taste sucks and you get her some cheap-looking iteration of a miniaturised bejewelled Gardens By The Bay. But here’s a quirky and creative alternative to the typical garish bling on the street. Earrings and rings with fancy gems on them! Not only are they cute, but will also remind your girl friends of their young and carefree pre-teen nursery days. Ahh, youth.

The Fancy Gem Biscuit Earrings and Ring can be found on When I Was Four and are priced at $14.90 and $11.90 respectively.

#6 Choy Charm Necklace

Everyone likes multifunctional things. Like 3-in-1 Nescafe – coffee, sugar and milk all in one convenient pack. This Choy Charm Necklace is no different. Apart from the fact that it can’t be consumed of course. But it is a Singlish statement, a wooden amulet, and a fashion accessory all rolled into one. Wear it against your skin and you don’t even have to physically touch wood when you shout “CHOY!”. Quite gimmicky and good. Which I why I bought one for myself as well. *sheepish grin*

$12 from Naiise.

#7 Superstition Dice

But just in case you’re too kiasi to step out of the house if there’s even a chance of your day going wrong, then this is clearly something that you need – a handy device which can tell you anything from whether you will “teo toto” or “suay sia”. And because we have a tendency to surround ourselves with people of similar frequencies, your friends probably need one of these too.

Get it from the National Museum of Singapore at $10.

#8 Singapore Statement Totes

These days, we leave the house with a variety of things. Wallet. Phone. Charger. Cable. Tablet. Laptop. Kindle. Sunglasses. Just to name a few. And you need a bag to dump all your chapalang in. And what’s better than a bag to showcase your personality in Singlish phrases? Almost nothing. Anyway, this would be my bag of choice. Don’t play play.

Get one, or two, for $22 a piece at The little dröm store.

#9 Chope! Book

We all know how choping works. But that doesn’t mean we don’t like to read and laugh over our local choping culture. This book can not only serve as your choping item during lunch, but also contains handy tips kopitiam culture, from what the kopitiam uncle might wear to how you should go about ordering your kopi. Which makes the perfect gift for your new expat colleagues, or your very ang moh pai friend who jiaks kan tang.

Available at The little dröm store for $29.

#10 Money

Sometimes things go wrong. Or they don’t exactly go the way you plan. Or you are lazy and can’t be bothered to get a present for your so-called friend. When this happens, the solution is to turn to one of my favourite men, Tun Yusof bin Ishak. Just give your friend a stack of one of Singapore’s best creations – the washable polymer bank note. Or you could give a paper note of higher denomination if you’re feeling generous. Either way, your friend has no reason to fault you for gifting him/her with the most flexible, thoughtful, and considerate gift of all – CASH.

Which can be used for shopping and dining, two things which commercialisation has forced Christmas to revolve around. Can you just smell the holiday spirit in the air?

Money is available at ATMs island-wide. Although smaller denominations may have to be obtained from the uncles at the kopitiam.

Good luck with your holiday shopping. And in true Singapore spirit, FAH LAH LAH LAH LAH LAH, LAH LAH LAH LAH!

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