So I decided to write up a little something on the things I learnt on my way to 29. I hit that age this year and I guess, my twenties has been a good run.

It had its fair share of ups and downs. I don't claim to know everything, but I want to write because I don't think many twenties peeps here voice out about their life enough.

Enter me. Alden Tan.

Several failed relationships before meeting the one. I'm not married yet though.

My dad died when I was 20, which was a couple of months before I enrolled into the National University of Singapore.

I worked a couple of jobs after graduation before leaving it all behind to start a blog on my own and become a writer on my own terms. I've self-published a book on Kindle too.

Many of you may disagree with what I've to say, and that's entirely up to you.

Ready?

1) When somebody is giving you the "hot-cold" treatment, they're most likely seeing someone else

Guys and girls alike seem to attribute this form of treatment to reasons such as that the other party is busy, distracted or that they're "just like that."

But those are simply excuses you want to be true.

In my experience, whenever a girl was cold towards me, it meant she was with another guy. When she was hot, it meant that guy was ignoring her. I learnt it the hard way.

2) It's best not to put somebody you barely know on a pedestal

Henceforth, don't ever worship the person you're smitten with.

You barely know him or her. Don't give too many benefits of the doubt just because you're attracted to them. They may possess several deal-breaker traits, and you don't want to discover them when you're in too deep.

3) The only way to deal with office politics is to ignore it

Because anything else is ammo and fuel for the office vampires to attack you.

I once made the mistake of joining in office gossip, thinking that I was only adding to the joke and trying to fit in.

That invariably became "talking behind her back."

4) Love is just a crazy energy that comes and goes as it pleases

So, do not be too surprised when it falls onto your lap like it's some divine intervention at work.

Yet, don't be too sad when it leaves you for seemingly no reason.

How many of you have gone on amazing dates with that someone you just met, only to find out later on there exists the last-minute ex they're still in love with, or that they've been seeing somebody else all along?

I did. She stopped replying altogether. Go figure.

5) You'll only start to wonder, "Is this what I'm going to do for the rest of my life?" when you start work

In primary school, you look forward to secondary school.

Then you look forward to JC or Poly.

Then you look forward to university. For guys, insert national service halfway in.

It is when you start work, for the first time you'd have absolutely nothing to look forward to. That is why you start to wonder.

Oh and yes. You'll be scared.

6) Assholes do not apologise

You don't need to right the wrong you've been dealt.

7) Only losers argue on social media

Just watch. Vow not to be like them.

8) Falling out with friends is inevitable

People change man. You do too.

Let your friends make their own mistakes so that they can grow.

Dump your toxic friends if they're always putting you down.

9) It's not about being hated or loved. It's about being judged or ignored.

Credit goes to Seth Godin for this brilliant insight.

Last week, I wrote an article that got a mixed reaction. I am only informed I had haters by my friends since I don't use Facebook anymore.

Now, it's easy to spew forth, "Haters, gonna hate" or whatever. But it's not about that.

If you want to truly stand out in your work, you're going to have to put yourself in a position to be judged.

It's either that or you can play it safe and be super boring. No one will care then. Your choice.

10) Getting out of your comfort zone is a bloody cliché

Everybody knows what you need to get out of the zone to truly get what you want.

I say, the minute you feel scared, nervous or anxious, they're the sheer signs you're headed in the right direction.

Be willing to feel totally messed up and do it anyway.

11) You can't ever change your parents, so don't bother

Your mom will probably annoy you all the way. Just be patient and accept the love.

12) Your mood largely depends on how well you treat your parents

That being said, how happy you are every other day is actually dependent on how much effort you put in for them.

So mind your words. Spare the time for them. You'll be surprised how this affects other unrelated areas in your life.

13) The first breakup is always the hardest

It just is.

14) You'll learn a side of yourself that you do not like in your relationships

It is very true that you learn the most about yourself when you're with somebody, including all the bad stuff.

So never criticise and judge your friends and their relationships. It will be you one day.

15) When somebody is really nice to you for no real reason, it probably means they want something back later on

This is especially true at work. Some people work by an extreme, "I've scratched your back, now you've to scratch mine" mentality.

You can bet they'll be back for favours, which are usually out of proportion.

16) Learn how to be okay with eating alone

If you're already in your twenties and you can't be alone, like anywhere, you're honestly a burden. Your friends are just too polite to say it.

17) Getting a six-pack is insanely hard

It always was to me at least.

There's no secret. Just eat right and exercise. When you look for shortcuts you're doing it wrong.

18) Some people are never on time

So don't bother reasoning with them. Just show up late yourself.

Or find better friends.

19) Good friends do NOT necessarily equate to good travel companions

The last thing you want to do is wait in your hotel room while some idiot takes his time to shower.

20) Travel alone at least once while you still can

It's exciting as hell. You'll come back stronger.

21) As you grow older, you'll start getting along with the people you didn't get along with at first

So let go of that grudge. It's just draining.

You never know what life will throw at you. Plus, Singapore is really small. You're bound to reconnect with a lot of people. And it'll be fine.

22) Take action on your idea immediately. Never use it to validate your time and life

Otherwise, it's essentially useless.

I did it before, and I see it in friends now. They're very proud to tell others, "Oh, I just had a meeting with my friend. We have this idea and we may want to start something soon."

And they call it a productive day when all that has actually been taken in are copious amounts of coffee or alcohol.

No. Off the bat, a real productive day is when you pump in money to attain the reach and see if people are actually interested to buy your whatever.

This is why most meetings, if not all, are useless.

23) The more physically attractive somebody is...

... the least likely it is that they're good in bed.

24) Be gentle on the person who has low EQ

They just don't know what it is they're doing wrong.

Their insecurities of feeling left out are also heavily amplified when others unite to bitch and gossip about them.

So somebody needs to be the one who accepts them.

25) The friend who openly asks about your salary, how much you take home after CPF, constantly compares scores, messages your girlfriend behind your back...

Is not someone you need in your life.

Trust me. They're only watching out for themselves. When shit hits the fan, the fallout will be massive. Hopefully you're not on the receiving end of everything.

26) Busy is bullshit

Everybody is busy today.

If you really want something, you'll make that time.

If somebody is constantly too busy for you, then you may want to re-evaluate your relationship with that person.

27) A pet is an instant pick-me-up

Nothing beats being greeted by your little dog or cat when you arrive home after a long day.

I don't have one, but my girlfriend does. I always look forward to playing with her cat when I go over.

If you're pissed off and stressed out like, almost every day, you may want to consider getting a pet.

However, think through this first. Don't do it out of impulse.

28) Embrace your introversion

There's nothing wrong with you if you feel left out.

It's okay to be bored of the same old shit your friends talk about.

You're not crazy if you prefer to stay home on weekends.

You're not awkward, inadequate or weird.

Just be alone, do what you want and recharge until you're ready to head out again.

29) Be wary of flowery language

"I don't normally do this for others, but for you I will."

"I see so much potential in you." (When they barely know a damn thing about you)

"Well, I'm on a break now, but sure I'll do this for you just this time."

I've many more examples here.

These are just words. Talk is very cheap. Don't be played for a fool.

Alden Tan is a writer who graduated from NUS and is now doing the whole “quit my job to follow a dream” thing as he blogs about honest and real stories. Check out his free book, 12 Things Happy People Don’t Give a F**k About.

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