10 things I learnt when I moved to Korea

Going overseas is like starting over again.

Nitasya Ibrahim| September 30, 10:37 PM

This article is part of a series that explores a Singaporean's journey to Korea for her post-graduate studies. Check out her previous articles here and here.

Two years ago, I decided to embark on an adventure of sorts – I packed my bags and moved to Korea.

I could’ve chosen to move to somewhere more convenient, somewhere English-speaking, or somewhere more familiar. But no, I chose to move to a place where I knew no one, had to learn a new language to get around, and where people go to the plastic surgeon during their lunch breaks.

It may have been terrifying at first, but moving to a place where no one knew my name led to several self-empowering learning points I have had the privilege to encounter:

 

1. I like meeting new people

When it comes to meeting new people, I tend to shy away because I do not feel comfortable in social settings. However, I soon found myself enjoying meeting total strangers in a completely foreign place.

Meeting people who come from the same place and have been brought up in a similar fashion as you somehow puts you in a box that dictates how you should behave and be.

Total strangers in a completely foreign place, however, have no prior knowledge or expectations of you, and I found that I could be myself with reckless abandon.

Plus, these new people opened my mind up to diverse, different perspectives, which in turn, helped to develop my own outlook in life.

 

2. Going for parties solo isn’t that frightening

Being the social beings that we are, we all need social interaction every once in a while. In a place where I knew no one, I needed to find new people and make new friends. But I had to do so alone.

It was intimidating at first to attend mixers alone – I worried endlessly if anyone was judging me – but soon, these events became a regular part of my social calendar. I learnt how to work a room, initiate a conversation, and social anxiety is now a thing of the past.

 

3. New ways to enrich my social life

It’s nice to catch up with friends over brunch or dinner and drinks. It works into routine like a dream, and I soon ran out of ideas for having fun.

Being in a new place however, allowed me to find new local ways to have fun with people. I even discovered that I actually like some activities that I used to scrunch my nose up at; like hiking, visiting historical sites and even adventure sports – I tried rafting and snowboarding here in Korea.

 

4. I can make radical changes to my appearance

Because I don’t have to worry about social judgment!

Some friends I know had a tattoo done, gone blonde, done a piercing or two and have expressed no regrets. For me - and it’s a miniscule matter in comparison - but I finally got that second ear piercing I’ve been wanting to get since I was fourteen.

It’s tempting to change the way you look in a place where you can be anything you want to be because there’s no one to tell you what you should look or be like.

 

5. The true meaning of “freedom”

It’s easy to want to be “free” when you’re confined in a space where you cannot exercise your own thoughts. But moving to a city where you’re completely on your own brings “freedom” to an entire new level.

Not only could I now do what I want – I could sleep when I wanted to, eat when I wanted to, or even forget about both if I left like it – I could now, more importantly, be who I wanted to be. Every day, I was able to wake up and take extreme comfort in the fact that the only expectations I had to fulfill for the day weren’t those someone else had of me, but those that I had of myself.

And it was oh-so-liberating.

 

6. I only need myself to rely on

During my time here, I had to figure out a lot of things on my own. Things that used to be easy or that used to be done for me by others I now had to re-learn, sort out and make things work all by myself.

Along the way, I learnt to deal with everyday problems, like figuring out the complicated public bus system and working several part-time jobs to make ends meet. I even learnt to clear a choked toilet!

The entire experience turned out to be incredibly empowering because I learnt to be resourceful and fully independent, and now I know that I can pretty much rely on myself for almost anything.

 

7. I can overcome my fears

No one can vouch for me how extremely petrified I was taking this step into the unknown, uncertain if things would work out or not in the end. This endeavour was strangely unlike the usually cautious and careful me, but I had a strong desire to take the challenge on, nonetheless.

Two years in, and all the what-ifs running through my mind then are just footnotes now. Although fear will always be present in all uncertain situations we face, I can now confidently say that fear doesn’t control my life anymore.

 

8. I enjoy solitude

While I have by now built a social network of friends and acquaintances, I’ve also discovered that being around people in a foreign country is literally just that – I’m more or less still alone, though never lonely.

I somehow got used to the idea, and now I’m completely comfortable if I have to spend the day or night on my own, and I even welcome the timeout from being social. These periods are great for some introspection to figure my next steps in my journey without noise.

 

9. I missed my loved ones

Being away from my loved ones has taught me to appreciate and love them even more. It was difficult not to have them physically within reach, but I’ve learnt to cope. With the Internet plus the array of communication tools available, I made do with video calls, instant messaging, social networking sites, etc.

The other important thing I’ve learnt is that even as you are doing alright without your loved ones, they will also learn to cope without you, so being apart is only a minor matter of physical separation.

 

10. I know who I am now

Not that I didn’t before I came to Korea.

Somehow, I’m now more confident of being myself, and of what I value in life. I’m also assured that if circumstances call, I’ll be able to adapt adequately without compromising my principles. Talk about self-growth.

I’m now going through my last six months in Korea, and I do feel sad that this adventure is coming to an end. Korea holds many fond memories for me, and it has been a crazy ride – one I wouldn’t change for the world.

There are, however, more things to learn out there, and I’m already looking for my next destination; a place where, again, no one knows my name.

 

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