Singaporeans in general don't have the best pronunciation.

But did you know that career soldiers and those serving National Service have some of the most outstanding mispronunciations?

At some point in our stint as soldiers, we took some liberties with the English language. Probably because a lot of soldiers are the shouty types and the need to be loud overrides the need to be clear.

But you know what? Who cares if no one else understands us? What matters is that we understand each other.

Here are 15 words we butchered in army:

1. Featherlight

What it is: Flannelette. A special cloth used to clean your SAR21 weapon.

What it becomes: Featherlight/ fetherlite. One of variants of condoms marketed by Durex.

2. Berry

Source

What it is: Beret. A soft, flat-crowned hat wore by many militaries. Originated in France.

What it becomes: The sour fruit found in yogurt and ice cream.

The navy sports blueberries, commandos wear red berries and the guys from armour love their Blackberries (non-camera ones, of course).

3. Thumb

Source

What it is: Time. Humanity’s way of measuring how events can be ordered from the past through the present into the future.

What it becomes: Arguably the most important appendage on each hand. Title contested only by the third finger from the left and right.

4.Copper

Source

What it is: Corporal. A non-commissioned military rank in use in some form by most militaries and by some police forces or other uniformed organisations. Higher in status than a chao recruit.

What it becomes: A chemical element with the symbol Cu and atomic number 29. Also has blue ions (Remember that for your O levels, kids!)

5. Jannermen

What it is: Gentlemen. Male members of the human species, supposedly known for their kindness and chivalry.

What it becomes:  A European-sounding last name. Could pass off as German. See: Hans Jannermen.

6. Patoon

Source

What it is: Platoon. 36 soldiers fighting side by side as a cohesive force.

What it becomes: Possibly an term for poorly maintained lady bits, according to urbandictionary.

7. Fat Tick

What it is: Fatigue. The SAF Number 4 battle dress, or a state of exhaustion usually caused by physical exertion.

What it becomes: Blood-gorged arachnids that feed off the blood of a mammalian host.

8. Astra 

Source

What it is: Extra. Another term for getting confined over the weekend. As in "sign extra". Also means something that is more than what was initially expected.

What it becomes: One of the car models that German automobile manufacturer Opel sells.

9. Mudder

Source

What it is: Mother. The female parent in a conventional household found in Singapore and many places around the world.

What it becomes: A phenomenally successful endurance event that tests contestants’ strength, stamina and mental grit.

10. Leeport

Source

What it is: Report. To give spoken or written account on events or situations that have transpired

What it becomes: A multinational tool machinery company with operations in Singapore and Hong Kong.

11. Mecha-chin

Source

What it is: Magazine. An ammunition storage and feeding device within or attached to a firearm.

What it becomes: A mechanised version of the late Dr. Toh Chin Chye.

12. Cancelback

Original

What it is:  CASEVAC (care-ser-vac) is a shortened form of Casualty Evacuation. Usually involves soldiers carrying their comrades on stretchers.

What it becomes: A very confusing double negative. Does a Cancel-back mean cancel going back?

13. Parcipitate

Source

What it is: Participate. The act of joining a group activity.

What it becomes: Almost becomes very complex and unnecessary way to describe rain.

14. Occifer

Source

What it is: Officer. Commissioned ranks in the military and police force. Leaders and commanders.

What it becomes: Someone who creates new bone through ossification.

15. Porlem/ Prom/ Poblem

What it is: Problem. A vexing conundrum.

What it becomes: [Say it like you have a short tongue] Sergeant, I don’t know what is a porlem, leh.

What other words can you think of?

Related articles:

15 types of colleagues we can all do without

14 extremely accurate SAF vocation descriptions

11 words usually mangled by Singaporeans

10 simple things we crave for during BMT field camp

Top photo from here.

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