January 27, 10:33 AM 
514 Chai Chee Lane 03-16, Singapore 469029 And how we can fight them.
Warning: this is how it feels like. Every. Year.
All peaceful and normal until the first relatives/friends come along.
1. “Got boyfriend/girlfriend not? Why never bring them along?”
Smile, smile, it’s only the first question!
2. “Really ah, why no boyfriend/girlfriend?”
Okay, it’s starting. Plan B: time to come up with a story. Time passes by faster this way. Sorta.
3. (If you said yes to question #1) Girl/boy ah, when are you getting married ah?
Sorry I’m not feeling sorry for you.
Okay, okay, I’ll help. Try a higher level smile instead.
4. “So how, when are you going to have kids?” (You got this question because you are already married, because of all the #3 type of questions you got last Chinese New Year.)
You can start by asking them how it feels like with their kids.
And how does it feel like not receiving any more ang pows because they’re married.
Oh yeah take that!
I guess you can also bring in the standard “Singapore very expensive to have kids” line if you prefer…
5. When they all start giving you suggestions for your love life
You don’t know who to trust…
Especially when all the suggestions look like this:
I know this is what you feel like:
But just be polite:
6. “Where are you studying now ah?”
Because they never remember your school, ever. Even though you told them last year. And the year before.
It makes you want to:
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7. “Wah, you getting taller and taller! How tall are you ah? Later how to find boyfriend?”
Woah.
(And how did we come back to the relationship topic?)
8. But there is always light at the end of the tunnel. “Come let’s go play ban luck (gamble)/eat steamboat”
Really though, just enjoy the process. It happens only once a year, and anything you prepare never really works.
Besides, it’s what makes Chinese New Year. And the year’s gonna be so good. It’s the year of the horse after all.
Top photo from Owl International
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