In his National Day Rally speech, PM Lee said that we have to pass on to our children a better Singapore than the one we inherited.
We suggest that the government engage the two enterprising Singapore University of Technology and Design (SUTD) students, who made the news recently with their invention (Straits Times: "Singapore students develop US fare ring"). Their invention is a ring that acts like an EZ-link card for the subway system in Massachusetts.
What’s wrong with the card you may ask? No idea, but some may not fancy donning a ring just to take public transportation. Here are other brilliant ring ideas that we sorely lack.
A ring for 10-cent toilets
There comes a day in every person’s life where his greatest challenge is to make that 50-meter dash from his seat to the nearest public toilet. Alas, like many before him, he will be inevitably be defeated by the 10-cent toll. No man, however strong his mental fortitude is, will be able to fumble through his wallet to look for a 10-cent coin while trying to hold in the shit storm of the century.
Behold, the one ring to rule all public toilet entrance aunties. Brandish your ring or artfully flick your middle finger with the ring at the entrance and you’ll be ushered in immediately into the toilet without having to pay the toll. Bye bye wet pants.
A ring for reserved seats
Civic-mindedness is not the strong suit of Singaporeans and it should be improved. Someone has to make sure our elderly and pregnant women get their deserved seats on public transportation. Instead of relying on STOMP for delayed public humiliation of Reserved Seats hoggers, the Internet generation needs instantaneous public-shaming.
With the nifty ring for reserved seats, our needy passengers do not have to rely on others to exact social justice on the hoggers. Once the ring detects that its wearer is not seated down upon entering the bus or MRT, it will start wailing in all four of Singapore’s official languages asking for kind souls to vacate their seats. But if the commuters on the train do not understand a word the ring is wailing, you are probably in the wrong country. Or are you?
ERP rings for people in crowded malls
Who likes to be shopping elbow to elbow with people? That’s the perennial problem of shopping in an increasingly crowded city. Crowded malls should take the cue from our ERP system which is awesomely effective at reducing road congestions. They can implement their own mall walkway pricing system to reduce the number of window shoppers who take up space but part no cash. Just put on the ring and you’re allowed to saunter about at your own pace in these luxurious malls for a very small fee, depending on the time of day and how greedy mall owners feel.
Smart ring for ensuring queue fairness
As our official pastime, queuing in Singapore can get quite intense, especially we are queuing for soft toys or Dim Sum. It is worse when someone cuts your queue or when the store runs out of whatever you were queuing the last four hours for. The smart queue ring will allow you to electronically register your place in the queue and also notify you whether or not you are queuing futilely for something about to be sold out. No more calling of the police when someone tries to step in front of you to get their hands on the next hot and ‘priceless’ soft toy.
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